You probably thought the gold bucket heist couldn’t get any better. You probably sat there a week or two ago and said to yourself, “Well, this is it. A man grabbed a 90 lb. bucket of gold worth $1.6 million out of a truck in the middle of Manhattan in broad daylight and waddled around the city with it before fleeing to Florida in an unmarked white van, and he eluded authorities for two months. There is nowhere any of this can go but down. We had a good run.” And you wouldn’t have been entirely out of line for thinking that, either. There’s a lot going on there.
But you also would have been wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Just wildly, galactically wrong. Of course the gold bucket heist story can get better. You idiot.
You see, police finally identified career criminal Julio Nivelo as the primary suspect yesterday. And in doing so, they released the following information about him, via NBC New York.
NYPD Det. Martin Pastor says Nivelo, who’s from West New York, New Jersey, is a convicted felon who’s known to the NYPD as Luis Toledo, among other aliases. He’s a career thief who’s been arrested seven times and deported four times to his native Ecuador, according to Pastor.
Right, so, a couple things here: