A Loincloth Wearing Oregon Militant Challenged Chris Christie To A Sumo Wrestling Match

01.25.16 3 years ago 6 Comments

Those pesky Oregon militants! Forget about them for a few days, and they reward your lack of attention by posting a video of one of their own challenging a presidential candidate to a sumo wrestling match, while wearing only a loincloth.

Or in Chris Christie’s case, after he criticized the Oregon occupiers, Kelly Gneiting (who actually is a five-time U.S. sumo champion, though everything about this story confuses me so who really knows) unleashed this video invitation on the unsuspecting public, as Raw Story reports.

The video is confusing and, frankly, kind of disturbing, as Gneiting keeps adjusting his loincloth and calling Christie his “little brother” in some bizarre attempt at emasculation. “We’ll show all Oregonians and all Americans who the family sumo champion is,” Gneiting promises.

He continues, “Remember all those times we used tussle in the front room? Man we’d go all night sometimes, from dusk till dawn! But now we’re adults.” You sure about that, Kelly?

This video is just another event in this long, absurdly pointless saga. There was the Cards Against Humanity guys sending lube to the occupiers. There were those other troll-y gifts that Bundy and co. didn’t appreciate. Then the militia treated us to “battle trumpets.”

Now, there’s an almost naked militia member challenging a political leader with the weirdest extended metaphor ever. What can these guys do next to top that?

(Via Raw Story)

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