Republicans Turn Their Weary Eyes To Crappy Pizza Company CEO

Last night the Republicans held their first debate featuring candidates for the party’s presidential nomination in 2012. The debate was largely unremarkable (Sadly, Donald Trump, Newt Gingrich and Sarah Palin all declined to participate because it conflicted with their TV jobs or something, and certainly they would have added some laffs/fireworks), with no one really doing or saying anything particularly buzz-worthy — just a bunch of GOPers talking about smaller government, respect for the “sanctity of life,” and how Obama is the worst president ever, blah blah blah. But from this vanilla oatmeal party has risen a colorful star — former Godfather’s Pizza CEO and radio talk show host Herman Cain — who did so by merely managing to articulate thoughts from within his brain coherently, for the most part.

Based on the enthusiastic response given by a Fox News focus group comprised of 29 white Republican voters in South Carolina — pollster Frank Luntz termed them “29 of the most important people in America” — it looks as though a new right-wing star is born and Donald Trump has been replaced as the new GOP it-boy.

“I have never had this kind of reaction until tonight,” Luntz said on Fox News. “Something very special happened this evening.”

Oh, and he’s black, like Obama, so there’s that!

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