Samantha Bee Digs Deep Into The Gnarly Recesses Of Ohio’s ‘Heartbeat’ Abortion Bill

12.13.16 2 years ago

Since her return to television after the presidential election, Full Frontal host Samantha Bee has dedicated the majority of her longer segments to the countless “fake news” controversies surrounding President-elect Donald Trump’s surprising win. Yet this topical preference hasn’t prevented the late night comedian from venturing off the well-beaten path to cover other equally distressing news items, like Ohio’s so-called “Heartbeat” abortion bill, which the state legislature passed last week after tacking it onto another bill pertaining to child abuse prevention measures. To the surprise of no one, Bee had a great many things to say about the Midwestern state’s latest efforts to curb the rights of women.

The relative ease with which the added abortion bill passed both the House (21-10) and Senate (56-39) chambers didn’t bother Bee too much. However, the heartbeat measure’s main stipulation — which would prevent abortions after the detection of a heartbeat, or as early as six weeks — did:

“Six weeks? What the hell, Ohio? At six weeks most women won’t even know they’re pregnant — especially now since everytime we wake up and realize Trump is president, we all have morning sickness. Women can miss a period from an extra hard SoulCycle regimen. Or to be fair, an extra hard SoulCycle instructor. If these assaults on legal abortion don’t stop, the only window for terminating a pregnancy will be while the unsuccessful candidates are still drying on your inner thigh.”

Sexually-charged SoulCycle jokes notwithstanding, the severity of the heartbeat bill’s restrictions on women’s choices regarding their own body — and its implications for other anti-abortion measures spearheaded in other states — cannot be glossed over. After all, the news from Ohio came mere weeks after Texas announced new rules requiring women to bury their aborted fetuses in a manner not unlike legislated stipulations overseen by Vice President-elect Mike Pence.

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