Ted Cruz is a big Simpsons fan. This, in theory, should make him relatable to the millions who also enjoy the longest-running scripted show ever. In actuality, though, his impressions are creepy and off-putting, he’s been known to misquote famous lines, and even Harry Shearer made fun of him.
But that hasn’t stopped Cruz from quoting the show like he just bought an electrified quoting machine (which I suppose is just a computer).
During an appearance at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) on Thursday, The Federalist publisher Ben Domenech mentioned an episode of The Simpsons, “The Cartridge Family,” where Homer invokes “the Constitution” to explain why he deserves the right to a gun. Lisa replies, “The Second Amendment is just a remnant from revolutionary days. It has no meaning today.” Rather than make a joke about the King of England, like any self-respecting Simpsons fan would do, Cruz instead said, “The Democrats are the party of Lisa Simpson and Republicans are happily the party of Homer, Bart, Maggie, and Marge.” The babies have risen, and they’re voting Republican!
First off, Marge is a registered Democrat (she voted for Jimmy Carter twice!), Homer became a Democrat for the sex, Bart is a 10-year-old child who can’t vote, and I’ve said it before and I’ll say, democracy simply doesn’t work. Also, even Al Jean, the showrunner of The Simpsons, doesn’t want Cruz’s support.
“Ted Cruz says Maggie Simpson would vote for him,” he tweeted. “I think Ted’s the one who could use a pacifier in his mouth.” Jean later added, “The way things are going even Mr. Burns is thinking of becoming a Democrat.” The rest of the internet was equally down (with homework) on Cruz.
.@TheSimpsons Ted Cruz says Maggie Simpson would vote for him.
I think Ted's the one who could use a pacifier in his mouth.— Al Jean (@AlJean) February 22, 2018
.@TheSimpsons The way things are going even Mr. Burns is thinking of becoming a Democrat.
— Al Jean (@AlJean) February 22, 2018
As a Simpsons animator for many years, I can say with 100% certainty that A) Lisa is officially the conscience of the family so…awesome. B) Neither Marge nor Homer are Republicans.
— Anna Maltese 💛 🏹 💛 (@MalteseAnna) February 22, 2018
the worst thing you can do online is anger teens and the second worst is definitely expressing an ill-informed opinion on The Simpsons
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) February 22, 2018
Lisa Simpson was elected president at one point in the series.
She replaced Trump, who caused a budget crisis that Lisa inherits. https://t.co/3s2T7DVZxP https://t.co/lmyLlg5Fnr
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) February 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/JoeBerkowitz/status/966768289958498305
my new conspiracy theory, which I believe with all my heart, is that Ted Cruz has never seen the Simpsons and a staffer just read the Wikipedia page to him
— Sarah Jones (@onesarahjones) February 22, 2018
https://twitter.com/BobbyBigWheel/status/966768539632889856
Not that Cruz, whose favorite episode is probably “Lisa Goes Gaga,” is reading your tweets. He’s waiting for Trump to call him back on the phone.
(Via The Hill)