For the last month and change, liberal activists have been hitting Republicans where it really hurts: restaurants. Senator Ted Cruz, Homeland Security secretary Kirstjen Nielsen, and Florida governor Rick Scott are just some of the figures whose attempts to act like normal, non-harmful humans have been ruined by cruel and unusual activists, who’ve harassed them over policies and beliefs that could damage untold lives or even destroy the planet itself.
Another target? Fox News pundit and former bow-tie enthusiast Tucker Carlson — a man who once enlisted Fabio as an expert on the California economy. In a statement only slightly less sympathetic than Louis C.K.’s claims that he’s been “to hell and back” in the last year, Carlson said, while speaking on the podcast for conservative rag The National Review, that he’d decided to just forego the dining experience altogether, as per The Hollywood Reporter. Good for him, and for anyone who might have had to sit in the same public space with him.
“I can’t really go to a lot of restaurants anymore because I get yelled at,” Carlson revealed. “I don’t feel threatened, but having someone scream, ‘F*ck you!’ at a restaurant, it just wrecks your meal.”