Travel Back And Spend A Touching Megalomaniacal Moment With 18-Year-Old Ted Cruz

Entertainment Writer
01.24.16 4 Comments

We’ve seen Ted Cruz dodge questions from a foul-mouthed dog puppet, we’ve seen Ted Cruz talk about his creepy fascination with the death penalty, and we’ve even gotten a few words from the folks who can’t stand him over the years. But now we finally get to meet Young Ted Cruz, a brash 18-year-old who wants to rule the world.

The clip was shot back during Cruz’s days at Second Baptist School in Houston, Texas, and features the future presidential candidate glowing about what he wants to do in the future. I believe he says a “teen tit film” at first, which I am really hoping is true. Not only because we know Cruz watched a lot of porn with the justices of the Supreme Court, but also because it means he refers to them as tit films.

Then he moves onto world domination. Something his father hopes doesn’t come to pass, but I’m sure his new pal Glenn Beck would just love. He is the new George Washington after all. Cruz certainly looks poised to rule the world in most of his photos these days, weird lips and all. His father on the other hand? Don’t tell Donald Trump about it.

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Young Ted Cruz

(Via Gawker / Young Ted Cruz)

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