The Best And Worst Of WWE Survivor Series 2014

Pre-show notes:

– If you missed the show, here’s a direct link to it on the Network. Watch the last 10 minutes and chase it with like 8 straight episodes of Nitro.

– You can read previous years’ reports at the Best and Worst of Survivor Series tag page.

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Please click through for the Best and Worst of WWE Survivor Series 2014.


Actual Pre-show Notes:

“Wait, Don’t Be Fooled! He’s Just A Regular Fandango With A Stupid Cheap Outfit. He Still Embodies All The Awful Stereotypes He Did Before!” “But he’s got a new outfit!”

Fandango Dancer Power Rankings:

1. Andrea Lynn aka “Ann Dango”
2. Layla
3. Summer Rae
4. literally every other person he has ever danced with
5. Rosa Mendes

Justin Gabriel Is Wearing La Parka’s Pants

For whatever reason, WWE decided to “relaunch” Fandango with a lightly Spanish-flavored version of his regular act in a short, nothing match against Justing Gabriel. If you’ve been watching Gabriel on NXT, you’ll notice the guy’s got nothing left in the tank and might as well be a wrestling sloth in a pair of motocross gloves. A sloth in motocross gloves would at least be cute.

Fandango won with a top rope leg drop, which we’ve seen a million times whether the announce team remembers it or not. The highlight was Justin Gabriel’s pants. He’s either cosplaying La Parka or giving us visual cues about where his career’s going. His ring entrance should be him clawing his way out of a giant pile of dirt.

Barrett’s Back, But I’m Afraid I’ve Got Some Bad News

The magical lectern is gone.

If you remember the glory days of Bad News Barrett, i.e. “any time he did not hold the Intercontinental Championship,” the dude piloted a motorized podium-cart with a scissor lift under it that could raise him up into the sky. I guess when he got hurt they threw it in the garbage, because now they’ve taped a #BNB sign to the front of the Anonymous General Manager setup and asked him to stand near it. I mean, I’m super happy Bad News Barrett’s back, I just don’t want to lose that beautiful dream of him piloting a Bad News mech through the arena and throwing Dolph Ziggler through the TitanTron screen with its claw-arm.

Jack Swagger’s Too Hurt To Compete For Team Cena At Survivor Series, But He’s Okay Enough To Beat Cesaro In The Pre-show

There were a lot of logistical loopholes on the show, but the most frustrating (and ultimately pointless) is the whole “Jack Swagger’s been targeted by the Authority and taken out of the Survivor Series main-event so he won’t be able to compete, but keeps showing up totally fine and wrestling matches anyway.” Nobody mentions it. He showed up to lose to Bray Wyatt on Main Event when basically anyone else could’ve filled the spot, and here he’s ON SURVIVOR SERIES tapping out Cesaro in the pre-show. Couldn’t we have given Fandango and whoever a little more time, since Fandango was the only thing actually announced for the Kickoff and desperately needs to seem great again? Is the reenforcement that Orton vs. Cena for the 500th time is incredibly compelling reason enough to feed Cesaro another meaningless loss to a guy who should kayfabe be in the hospital?

Aside from that, the worst part is that Swagger and Zeb Colter are faces and don’t have another Rusev to feud with, so their “we are standing up for AMERICA” stuff is leaning too far back into “speak English or GET OUT” without anybody booing it. Unless you’re booking Indiana Jones, “your country harbored Nazi gold” is not a sentence your babyface should say.

Anyway, that’s the Survivor Series Kickoff, presented by Mountain Dew Fourthmeal. Stay tuned for the Best and Worst of Survivor Series, a thing WWE is not aware of and will probably never yank.


Worst: This Is A Really Boring Way To Start Raw, Or
Best: John Cena Is The Big Bad

You know what’s great? Pay-per-views that start with 20-minute conversations. Were they worried people who watch Raw but haven’t subscribed to the Network were gonna tune in and be confused by all the wrestling? Did they start Survivor Series like a bad episode of Raw to make them feel more comfortable?

The Team Cena vs. Team Authority match already has way too many stipulations. It’s a traditional Survivor Series elimination match, so you’ve got 10 wrestlers in the match. The heel team has five valets. If Team Authority loses they’re “stripped of their power” but not fired, which means they get to keep their jobs, which is weird because their jobs are what give them power. Triple H will be stripped of his COO powers, but will remain COO, so … uh, the company won’t have a COO? No COO, no Executive Vice President, no Director of Operations? If Team Cena loses, they’re fired. Well, the “Team” part, not Cena. Cena gets to stay. That’s a smart decision, I guess, because the last time Cena was fired at a Survivor Series he just hung out and interfered in matches every week until they gave him his job back. But those guys couldn’t do that. Especially not the guy with the Ironclad Contract that was supposed to prevent him from ever being fired for shifty reasons by management again.

So hey, what’s one more stipulation?

Per Vince McMahon, if Team Authority loses they’re not outright “stripped of their power.” They’re just powerless until/unless John Cena decides to put them back in power. That is seriously a stipulation. Vince McMahon is handing John Cena, wrestler with no management title, the ability to dangle the possibility of employment over his Chief Operating Officer and Executive Vice President and make them do whatever he wants. It’s basically the Nikki/Brie Bella “be my bitch for a month” story stretched out over FOREVER?

Let me put it to you this way. Vince McMahon has decided to make a Survivor Series match where EVERYTHING IS ON THE LINE. The control and future of his billion dollar wrestling company is at stake, and everyone involved faces dire consequences — firing, loss of power, manipulation from employees — except for Cena. Cena faces ZERO CONSEQUENCES, win or lose. If he loses, a bunch of people he barely likes who’ve agreed to stand up for his agenda lose their jobs, but he doesn’t. The Authority will “make his life a living hell,” but what’s that? Handicap matches? Pay-per-view matches with extreme situations? That is John Cena’s job description. It’s what he’s been doing every week since he entered adulthood. If he wins, the bosses he hates are not only ousted from power, he gets the ability to reinstate them, which in theory he would never do, because hated them and wanted them out of power? What the hell? The only explanation is that, as we’ve written about time and time again, John Cena is the evil head of WWE and pulls all the strings. He antagonized The Authority (who really have no reason to dislike him, because he’s the cash cow face of their company and plays by any rules they decide), then inserted Vince into the situation to set everything up in his favor.

I don’t know when they’re going to pull the trigger on it, but Cena as the Big Bad has gone from “a stupid fantasy booking thing Brandon typed as joke” to “the only logical conclusion to any of these stories.”

Best: Stardust Looks Like Ronald McDonald

Goldust should start painting himself purple. Maybe get Emma some gear with stripes and have her valet.

Best: New Tag Team Champions

The match wasn’t the rapid-fire ADD Lucha Underground thing I was hoping for (and honestly not ever expecting), but God, I loved everything about the finish.

Damien Mizdow once again stands on the apron for the entire match and does nothing. The crowd is OBSESSED with seeing him get in the ring. They wanted him in there so bad they kept chanting it when the match was over. They chanted “we want Mizdow” through half of the Divas match. I haven’t seen a chant go AWOL like that since Daniel Bryan’s “yes.” So yeah, Mizdow never gets in long enough to do anything. The match starts breaking down, and one of Los Matadores goes for a big dive off the top. Goldust cuts him off, their tag team partners get involved, and everyone gets thrown off the ropes in a big Tower of Doom. Jimmy Uso comes in with a splash off the top, but Miz blind-tags himself in. As he’s tossing Jimmy, MIZDOW tags in, steals the pin and wins the tag team championships by doing nothing.

It’s glorious. Miz is shocked, and poses on the turnbuckle with both tag belts. You’d think Mizdow would get one to complete the look, but nope, Miz is such a butthole he hogs them both. Now poor Mizdow’s gonna have to carry around two replica tag belts. If there’s a better reason to break up a tag team than, “I won the tag belts and my partner won’t let me hold one,” I can’t find one.

Great stuff. I wonder how long they can keep Damien this over without him actually doing anything? How long can they keep him a champion without him ever doing a wrestling move? It’ll be like Pac-Man Jones in TNA.

Worst: “We Liked How This Man In A Bunny Costume Cheated To Beat You At Action Figures” Is Officially The Worst Reason They’ve Ever Come Up With To Have A Match

Move over “you got the Japanese shampoo commercial instead of me,” we’ve got a new champion.



Worst: This Is What You Get When You Build Your House Out Of Straw, Paige

Paige thought it’d be a good idea to stock her Survivor Series team with Cameron, the 17th best female wrestler in the world despite not knowing you’re supposed to pin someone when they’re on their back, and SummerLay, a pair of Catty Little Cats who bonded over a failed threesome and forgot how to win wrestling matches.

Her opponents were an odd bunch, too, and spotlight the trouble WWE has creating female babyfaces. Is ANYBODY in the match a face? You’ve got Natalya, who is for all intents and purposes a face, but her only major on-screen character development is as super heel Tyson Kidd’s cohort/legally bound nemesis on NXT and Total Divas. Alicia Fox changes allegiances more than the Big Show and was Paige’s evil, crazy best friend a few weeks ago. Emma’s a face, I guess, but the last thing she participated in that constituted character development was abandoning a depressed Santino to the Rosebuds at a cookout. Naomi? Naomi barely exists, but she’s better than nothing.

Hell, look at the Bellas and AJ Lee thing. AJ was a manipulative, megalomaniacal heel who had to get her comeuppance via the entire female roster and an evil authority figure at WrestleMania and still won. She didn’t show up on the show for a while, and when she came back she was the good guy. Paige was alternately good or bad depending on which direction the wind blew. Now AJ’s in a feud with the Bellas, two of WWE’s most regularly evil characters, except one of them’s pretending to be nice. At Survivor Series, the nice one cheated to the mean one could win. Everybody’s bad to everybody. Why would we cheer ANYBODY?

Best: Tyson Kidd, Player Coach

The best part of the match was Tyson Kidd, who if you haven’t been following the Best and Worst of NXT reports has become one of the most well-rounded and total dickbags in the company. Him mugging in front of Natalya was amazing, and he spent the entire match on Twitter taking selfies and passive-aggressively shit-talking his wife.

He also doesn’t know how to spell “Survivor Series.”

Best: Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

I’m not sure the crowd ever gave it the love they should’ve, but I really dug Ambrose vs. Wyatt. It was exactly what it needed to be: two crazy buys beating the dog mess out of each other and hitting a few key psychological points.

The “beating the dog mess out of each other” part was fun. They were really laying into one another at points, and Bray’s lariat made like half the people in the crowd on screen make “oh” faces and cover their mouths. This is one of those feuds that would’ve been better served happening in 1988, when you could properly escalate the freakshow violence and get gross instead of lying a table on someone and hitting it with a chair. Covering your opponent with something and hitting that thing with a chair doesn’t do anything, WWE babyfaces, you’re protecting them by putting something between them and a chair. I mean, unless you’re putting a bed of nails down nails-first. If you’re gonna be our top badass, do not subscribe to the John Cena school of putting Wade Barrett under a wooden cart before you dump a bunch of chairs on him.

Anyway, there was a lot of psychological stuff to love, too. Ambrose doing Bray’s corner taunt was fun. I especially loved Wyatt bringing back the HIT ME WITH A CHAIR AND EMBRACE THE EVIL stuff from his corny John Cena feud and Ambrose just kinda shrugging and going for it. Dean Ambrose, the 2014 winner of the Nobel Prize in the field of Correcting Hackneyed John Cena Emotional Tentpoles.

Best: THE SUBTLE ENDING

I wonder if they’ll be able to come up with a reason for Dean Ambrose and Bray Wyatt to have a rematch at the next big event, Tables Ladders and Chairs? At TLC, Ambrose should get help from 29 other superstars to beat Wyatt. At Royal Rumble, he should eliminate him by hitting him in the face with the Elimination Chamber.

Worst: “No Thoughts On The Roman Reigns Promo?”

Nope. Pretty sure he said he was gonna make it rain with his cock. Can we sub in Daniel Bryan and have Roman be the one that’s injured forever?



Worst: What Is This ‘Slater & The Gator’ Bullshit

What are they, cops from the 70s? It’s not “Slater & The Gator,” it’s Slater Gator.

You took away the Nexus, The Corre, Slabriel and 3MB. I’m not letting you have this one without a fight.

Best: Me Too, Adam. Me Too.

That look on Adam Rose’s face is way too familiar. That’s the look you have when you’ve been in a relationship too long, and you just kinda wake up in the middle of the night and turn to your partner and they’re just the WORST. You remember why you loved them, you guess, but it’s just not worth it anymore. Everything they do pisses you off. You just want them to disappear. You are so mad at them for beating you at action figures and winning all your wrestling matches. GOD. But guess what? You’re the one that put them in this position. You’re the one who organized a tour bus full of drugs and Party City employees. You’re the one who encouraged The Bunny to keep his chin up and try again when you beat him at Hungry Hungry Hippos. And now time has passed and the bloom is off the Rosebud, and you’re stuck with this thing.

I think we should all be concerned about how a guy in a bunny costume is good enough at wrestling to quickly dominate WWE superstars and pin them in seconds. Imagine how good that guy’ll be WITHOUT the costume. “Oh wow, now I have peripheral vision! I not wearing a sweltering sweatsuit and can actually GRAB things!”

Worst: Hot Les-Brie-an Action

So it turns out I was right about everything.

The show begins with Vince McMahon doing his big Aretha Franklin point and declaring John Cena the man who makes all the important decisions in WWE. A little later, Brie Bella straight up cheats to help Nikki win the Divas Championship in record time, then smiles and chuckles when it happens. So either she’s the Evil Twin and both of the Bellas are bad, or she’s such a horrible actress that she forgot she’s supposed to be in the final days of indentured servitude.

I don’t know if the rumors of AJ leaving the company after the show are true, but I hope they aren’t. She’s been the most important part of the women’s division for YEARS now, and elevated herself however briefly onto the top shelf of WWE characters. I’d hope her final moments of WWE life weren’t spent doing a Shakespeare In The Park version of Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus.

But hell, I guess CM Punk’s last WWE moments were lying in the corner of a Royal Rumble for 50 minutes and selling for El Torito. If this is goodbye, I hope it isn’t goodbye goodbye. And if it is, I hope you get to go live on a nice farm somewhere with Kaitlyn.

Best: The Main By God Event

The main event of Survivor Series is the best thing they’ve done since WrestleMania 30. It’s honestly not even close. A lot happened, so I’m going to break it down piece-by-piece as if you’ve watched the entire thing. If you haven’t and want a synopsis, read the quick and dirty WWE Survivor Series 2014 results before continuing.

Good? Good. Okay. As I mentioned, I loved it and will gush about it, but there are a few parts of it I didn’t like. Let’s cover those first.

Worst: Big Show, The World’s Most Obvious And Least Logical Turncoat

Late in the match, Big Show reveals his TRUE COLORS and knocks out John Cena. There’s so much wrong with this I can’t even begin to begin to begin.

The first is that Big Show’s story doesn’t make any sense. The guy was mistreated by management and made to grovel for his job, and only got it back when he agreed to help John Laurinaitis defeat (you guessed it) John Cena. That gave him an “ironclad contract,” a “you’re hired forever and nobody can f*ck with you” hall pass that allowed him to be “free” and do whatever he wanted to do. The next time Show was a face and an evil Authority figure crossed his path, they immediately forgot about it and had him be all cry-faced again. “Ironclad contract” now exists as a joke smarks make whenever Big Show does anything. But yo, for real, the guy’s in a match against The Authority where he could be fired if he loses. He chose to join it, so you have to assume he was an Authority spy from the start. That makes that make sense.

What doesn’t make sense is why he’d knock out Mark Henry at the beginning of the match. He’s got beef with Henry, sure, but Dolph Ziggler might’ve not won the whole damn thing if he’d had three guys AND THE WORLD’S STRONGEST MAN on the other side. You’re eliminating one of the team that secretly employs you’s top guys because you’re mad at him for turning on you. And why did he turn on you? “Tag etiquette,” apparently, but the actual reason is the Bulgarian Russian guy neither of you could beat who is ON THE TEAM THAT SECRETLY EMPLOYS YOU. Henry being on Rusev’s side all of a sudden was stupid. Henry AND Show being on Rusev’s side is an insane kind of stupid that only psychic blind people in sci-fi novels could touch. Jesus Christ.

Here’s what you do if you’re Team Authority and you’ve got Big Show in your top secret employ: start the match, have Show turn around and punch all of his teammates in the face. Pin the teammates. Have Show stand there and make sure they’re knocked out and pinned. If they aren’t, have him punch them again. It’s a punch. Wrestlers land dozens of punches every match, he’ll be fine. You win, you fire everybody you hate, you keep your jobs. Fire Show too if you want to, nobody cares.

The only thing that justifies any of this is the idea that Show was anti-Authority when the match started, and changed his mind when he thought he was gonna lose. So then he lost on purpose? I don’t know. I have no goddamn idea.

Best: The Immediate Aftermath Of That Henry Knockout, Though

Show’s “come at me, bro” stance was only topped by Rusev, who stands there on the apron with a blank expression and his arms held out in disbelief, as if it say, “see? I TOLD you this guy was a disappointment to America.”


Worst: Ryback Wastes Everybody’s Time

WWE really took the scenic route to “Ryback feuds with Rusev,” huh?

Here’s how you get them into a feud. Put them in the same place at once. Have Rusev say he’s gonna crush Ryback for thinking he’s tough. Have Ryback say FEED ME MORE in response. Maybe have Ryback decide he wants a shot at the United States title. Maybe announce that they’ll wrestle soon. One has a big undefeated streak, the other used to. One’s an overconfident patriot of a foreign land and the other’s an all-too-American story of failure and redemption. More succinctly, it’s two strong guys screaming at each other.

Instead, WWE brought Ryback back from out of nowhere, refreshed him by returning him to the original version of his character, then built a 3-week arc around which team he’d be on. They had him record these passionate, emotional backstage segments explaining his face turn, then had him spinebuster John Cena because The Authority signs his paychecks. Then they have him turn on THE AUTHORITY because they’re annoying? I don’t know, they bothered him too many times backstage. So then they build a Raw open around which team Ryback will join, and he says he’s on “Team Ryback.” That turns out to be Team Cena when John’s in trouble and he has to do the right thing. So they build almost an ENTIRE MONTH OF SHOWS around the Why of Ryback and have him be the second dude eliminated in the match. First guy eliminated on his team. By a guy he’s barely interacted with, to set up something else. Ryback was by definition the least important and helpful member of his team. ERICK ROWAN helped out more. Erick Rowan is an upside-down Sheamus with a child’s brain.

To quote @nerdhapley, Ryback isn’t Goldberg. He’s Lex Luger.

Best: Rusev Goes Table Diving

I think the one thing everyone called was Rusev being eliminated by disqualification or count-out, and sure enough he goes out diving face-first into the Spanish announce table.

This really worked for me, because it allowed Ziggler to be an incredible underdog and sorta “top” Rusev without necessarily “topping” him. Rusev looks like a monster tossing Ziggler around, prepping the tables and trying the big splash. Ziggler gets an exciting dodge that plays on his speed and intelligence, and gives him a great dramatic moment trying to get back into the ring and beat the count. And you know what? Rusev looks good trying to beat the count, too. Motherf*cker ate that table with his entire face, and less than 10 seconds later he’s up and cognizant enough to almost make it back in.

I’m with Jim Ross. Rusev is a powerhouse rarely cheats, is a patriot to his native land, is a beast, isn’t a coward, has not lost via pin or submission, recognized his team’s biggest threat and tried to neutralize it. He’s the best. He’s such a good dude he was even trying to win the match for his team after they openly talked smack about Putin.

Best: Let’s Take A Moment To Sing The Praises Of Dolph Ziggler

This might’ve been the single greatest Survivor Series performance I’ve ever seen. Not hyperbole.

Ziggler’s a guy we’ve always wanted to be excited about, but kept finding reasons to doubt. He came up as low as low can be. He was a male cheerleader. A caddy for Chavo Guerrero’s White Guy gimmick. A character who kept introducing himself to people as a weird rib on backstage etiquette. We learned to love him for his ability to sell to the ends of the earth, and occasionally break its surly bonds and bounce around like a video game. He’d build momentum, and then something vague would hit the Internet and he’d be “in the doghouse.” He’d win the World Heavyweight Championship, then immediately lose it. He’d win the World Heavyweight Championship, get kicked in the head by Jack Swagger and be gone. Start and stop, start and stop.

With a chunk of WWE’s roster either abandoning ship or getting hurt, Ziggler caught fire again. He was still losing a lot, but in a way that mattered. He reminded us why we liked him, and asked us to forget the happenstance that impeded it. He became more and more of a focus, and suddenly he was ersatz Daniel Bryan in John Cena’s battle against The Authority. He was the scrappy workhorse beloved by the fans but despised by management. I don’t know how he fit his square-ass peg into that round-ass spot, but he did it.

As much as we liked him, none of us expected this to be his real, honest, star-making moment. Nobody expected him to be the sole survivor after being down 3-1, especially not with five valets backing up Team Authority, especially not with John Cena in a match featuring “Team Cena.” And then poof, Cena was gone, a total non-factor who eliminated no one and got knocked out by one of his own teammates. Ziggler was hurt, and they stood around him taunting him. Somehow, some way, this guy who used to do headstands mid-chinlock because he was an unbearable piece of shit was the voice of the people about tyranny. The John Cena John Cena’s too big and muscular and popular and ubiquitous to be.

It was so good. Electric. He didn’t just power up and beat everyone, he FOUGHT them. He gave it everything he had. Every Zig Zag felt like a thing he had to build to. He never popped to his feet and hit his finisher and had it heal his wounds. He made an absurd, unbelievable situation buried under stipulations and incessant fantasy booking feel REAL. It was boxing. He dodged and dodged and survived and struck.

I don’t know if this performance means anything. I don’t know if we’ll see Dolph Ziggler challenging Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at WrestleMania. Roman Reigns will probably saunter back in and take that spot. If not, someone more important will enter the Royal Rumble and win it. Ziggler might get hurt again on Raw, or say the wrong thing and find himself on the ass-end of Kofi Kingston again. Maybe the glass ceiling doesn’t exist anymore. Maybe the ring and the arena and the people are all glass and none of this matters.

If all the worst thoughts are true, Dolph Ziggler gave us one of the gutsiest, flawless Survivor Series performances ever, and nobody can take that away from him. A-f*cking-plus.

Worst: Scott Armstrong, Worst Referee On The Take Ever

WHY DID YOU STOP COUNTING

“oh, someone’s playing a song I’ve never heard. Let me ignore the direct order of my boss that will save his job so I can sit up and stare down the ramp and see who’s coming. Oh, it’s Sting? Cool. Let me continue to sit here and NOT count this three count and wait until f*cking Sting gets in the ring. Maybe he’s on our side, which is why his music suddenly played between 2 and 3. Rollins is just lying here with his arm draped over Ziggler and I can save this at any time, but shoot, let me climb out of the ring and see what Sting wants.”

JUST COUNT THE PIN, SCOTT


Best: The Last Thing We’ve Waited For Forever

Yes, it would’ve been a lot cooler if WWE’d ponied up the money back in 2001 and brought in the REAL stars of WCW for the Invasion angle. Yes, the time Sting spent in TNA was embarrassing. Yes, the time between the last Nitro and the 2014 Survivor Series turned Sting from a relevant, regular performer into a 55-year old man who wrestles in a t-shirt. Yes, his hairline looked bad, and yes, we all still want to see him wrestle the Undertaker in some fantasy world where it didn’t take this long to get him here.

I absolutely, positively do not care.

Here’s a secret for anyone who doesn’t know me, and only gets my opinion of Sting from a random Impact column or my recap of his time spent in purgatory on 1995 Monday Nitro. I was a Little Stinger. Am a Little Stinger. I grew up loving Sting, and this religious dork in Crow makeup has probably given me more to laugh, love and cry about than any wrestler walking the planet. He was the best parts of the super hero character; strong enough to triumph over evil like Hogan or Warrior, but real enough to get crushed by Vader or make Dean Malenko look like a million bucks. As he got older and more jaded the better parts of him seemed to subside, but even at the end of his TNA run he was getting pinned by Ethan Carter III. Sting’s greatest talent was in being a team player and a company man, but still such a bright, ridiculous cartoon (and later such a brooding, melodramatic jester from hell) that he could effortlessly unite us. He was our guy. Those guys were your guys. Sting was ours.

He’s 55-years old and his hair looks bad, and he’s dressed like The Crow 20 years after The Crow, but I don’t care. I won’t let myself care this time. “Sting in a WWE ring” is the last of the things we’ve waited for forever. Flair vs. Hogan happened. WWE bought WCW and they feuded. ECW wandered in. Our favorites won the big one. The Undertaker lost at WrestleMania. Sting is here, and he Scorpion Death Dropped Triple H at the end of a Survivor Series, and it’s real. The last thing we dreamed about in the pages of Pro Wrestling Illustrated is real, and we’re living it.

I’m okay with that. It’s showtime.

Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Night

indieguy

CENA IS THE ALPHA AND THE OMAGGLE!

Bad News Burke

Most screen time Emma has gotten since security footage

SHough610

Did Lawler’s shirts get arrested by the taste police?

papermint

Roman you’re so pretty. You don’t need to talk.

Superfudge

That was basically the tongue poke of doom.

TeaEye

That was originally the planned finish for Summerslam with Lesnar, Heyman, & Cena but Creative switches it to the Bellas and AJ.

LUNI_TUNZ

Of course the Black Guy dies first.

Heisenblerg

Can you IMAGINE what The Authority would have to do if they lose this match?

…Luckily you don’t have to! WWE SLAM CITY, ONLY ON THE WWE NETWORK.

Bellyflop

HHH is camping the refs spawn point.

Lester

“FLEX! STOP SELLING! NEVER GIVE UP MORE! Seriously, I don’t get you guys.” – Cena coaching from the apron

Thanks, everybody. Be back here tonight for Raw, and again tomorrow for the Best And Worst Of That.

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