A Porn Site Wants To Sponsor Dolph Ziggler

03.04.15 4 years ago 47 Comments

Dolph Ziggler’s gotten so good at being f*cked by WWE he’s got porn sites trying to put their logos on his trunks.

Canadian porn network BRAZZERS — proprietors of such classic websites as Big Wet Butts, Milfs Like it Big and JugF*ckers — has taken an interest in The Show Off. Here’s their formal proposal, delivered in the impersonal, wink-wink nudge-nudge sort of way you want porn sites to be.

As a reminder, here are Amy Schumer’s comments on Ziggler’s sexual prowess. I assume they’re relevant.

“I was [already] dating somebody else. I had a boyfriend. A wrestler,” she said. Schumer then revealed her heavyweight lover was Ziggler, and a discussion about sex soon followed.

“The sex was too athletic. Always. [But] the first time, I was like, ‘Oh, this is cool. Nobody’s ever ragdolled me.’ He was spinning me like a Globetrotter,” Schumer said about Ziggler.

Although his physique awed her, Schumer had to break it off because the sex was just too much. She dumped him via text, which is when she found out the muscle man had a very tender heart. Either way, though, Schumer was done. (via HuffPo)

Mattel-loving WWE will probably never let it happen, but I think they should embrace it. Let’s get porn sponsors on everybody. Get RedTube to sponsor Rusev. Pornhub for Seth Rollins seems like a gimme. Which wrestler equates to “masturbating onto photos of people?” XHamster would like to have a word with them.

Worst case scenario, maybe Chyna would get into the Hall of Fame.

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