For those of us who saw Hangman Page drinking audience members’ beers on this week’s episode of AEW Dynamite and thought “OH NO” there is no longer any need to panic in this very specific way. All Elite Wrestling‘s beloved cowboy has released a statement on Twitter informing fans that “Amid the current, rapidly-evolving COVID-19 situation… he will be taking necessary precautions to ensure his continued health and safety, as well as the health and safety of his fans across the globe.”
Under an elaborate letterhead, Page says that he thankfully “will, for the time being, no longer be able to accept beer from any fans should they be in attendance at events.” He’ll be looking forward to “instances of conveniently-appearing unopened beverages” and drinking only whiskey “in hopes that the higher alcohol content will help stave off potential infection.”
Page also says he’ll be avoiding wrestling holds that make contact with his opponents’ faces, which is both an admirable babyface move and something that draws attention to just how easily, in real life, COVID-19 could spread throughout the wrestling community.
In another classy babyface move, Hangman also provides some “proper precautions and practices” for fans during this time, a list that includes washing their hands for twenty seconds and avoiding public gatherings along with buying a six-pack of Corona beer (“they have nothing to do with this and did nothing wrong”), using the turn signal, Medicare for All, and ordering pineapple on pizza.
While Hangman is clearly going to be fine throughout all this, his next match may have hit a new snag. Wednesday’s episode of Dynamite was moved from New York to a “restricted attendance” event in Jacksonville, Florida, but coronavirus reaching Jacksonville means that all city-owned event venues (like Daily’s Place, where Dynamite was set to take place) have been “closed until further notice.”