Bills Fans Suffer Crushing Defeat In Their Ongoing War Against Tables

The preposterous drunkenness of Buffalo Bills fans is well-documented, but their disregard for their physical well-being doesn’t stop at chemical abuse. They also enjoy physically abusing their bodies, mostly with wrestling moves.

Breaking tables with body slams seems to be ingrained in the DNA of male Bills fans. Female Bills fans are seemingly doomed (blessed?) to be the concerned ones yelling from out of frame. But not all Bills fans break tables, you know. Some of them FAIL to break tables!

It hasn’t all gone wrong at the Bills tailgate/backyard wrestling festival/light-beer convention, however. This dude did pull a sweet Moonsault on his buddy from the back of his pickup truck (and yes, a table was involved):

I guess we should be saying, “Get it together, Bills fans,” or at least a snarky “Stay classy, Bills fans,” but honestly it feels pointless. Who are we to deny a thing its true nature? We wouldn’t have the hubris to tell a salmon not to swim upstream, so we shouldn’t tell Bills fans to stop getting sh*tfaced and body-slamming tables.

Meanwhile, the table salesmen of America are busy moving all their company headquarters to Orchard Park. It’s the savvy business move.

(Via It’s Always Sunny in Detroit)