A lot happened in the world of wrestling this week — AJ Styles made his WWE debut, Triple H won the Royal Rumble, The Rock returned, Lucha Underground returned, NXT announced Shinsuke Nakamura for Dallas — but I think I speak for all clear-eyed, full-hearted people when I say the most important event was Flo Rida losing a rap battle to Bo Dallas.
If you missed it, here’s a recap: The rapper performing the official song of WrestleMania 32 lost a battle of what he does for a living in his hometown to objectively the least cool professional wrestler in WWE.
WWE’s big on revisionist history, however, and they’re working hard to convince fans that Flo Rida wasn’t completely embarrassed. Despite the fact that everyone on the spectrum between me and XXL declared Bo the winner, WWE posted a fan poll asking viewers who they thought came out on top. Usually you can rely on “whoever’s more popular” to win a WWE poll, right? Obviously the celebrity musician is going to get the support of casual fans, especially when he’s up against the least threatening guy on a team of four unpopular jobbers.
Undeterred by critical AND popular opinion — Roman Reigns, I’m looking in your direction — WWE continues to force the narrative that Bo Dallas didn’t win. In fact, a video entitled “WWE’S WACKEST RAPPERS” calls out Bo by name:
“Bo Rida” is only the latest Superstar to reveal himself as a wack MC. From Daniel Bryan to Kurt Angle, find out who ranks as WWE’s worst rappers.
If Bo is a wack MC and one of the wackest rappers in pro wrestling, what does that make Flo Rida? Worse than the worst wrestling rapper? Bo murdered you on your own sh*t. Do we need to bring back Da Trademarc to settle this once and for all?
Don’t let WWE rewrite history and tell you what happened. Don’t believe their lies. Besides, we all know WWE’s wackest MC.