A Definitive Ranking of WWE’s New Ugly Holiday Sweatshirts

11.27.18 9 months ago 10 Comments


With the Thanksgiving weekend over, we are now on the Road to [Christmas/Hannukah/other winter holidays], and the folks at World Wrestling Entertainment have products to help you integrate your holiday spirit with your wrestling fandom. This year the WWE shop has a new line of “Ugly Holiday Sweatshirts,” described as “ultra-festive sweatshirts [that] will make sure you stand out this Holiday season!”

You’d think this would be a home run for WWE, a company that frequently releases unintentionally terrible merch, like that Neville shirt that was the last thing he tweeted about for nearly eleven months before he turned up in Dragon Gate. These sweatshirts should be the most hideous aesthetic abominations of the face of the earth, but when tasked with making shirts actually meant to be ugly, WWE failed upwards and created one of their most wearable clothing lines in recent memory. To be fair, this fits the larger trend of “ugly sweaters” not actually being ugly – if you do a web search for “ugly holiday sweater” you get a lot of normal, wintery sweater results. But does that mean WWE should not be shamed for this screw-up? No, it does not!

In this article, I will rank all fourteen of the Fed’s new ugly holiday sweatshirts from worst (least ugly) to best (ugliest.) Any type of stylishness is a downside. Any hesitation I would feel towards wearing the shirt in public to a non-wrestling event due to ugliness or probability I would have to explain that it was a wrestling shirt and the anticipated difficulty of that explanation is a plus. Festiveness to the point that the sweatshirt is so season-specific one can really only wear it during the winter holidays also helps. With the acknowledgment that the light-up aspect of all these sweatshirts makes them all somewhat garish (at least with the lights on; you can turn them off), let’s get to the judgment.

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