‘The Dog Wedding’ Is A Real Movie With WWE’s Jason Albert, And It Looks Totally Bonkers

Calling something in pro wrestling news “the weirdest thing you’ll watch all day” is a pretty tall order. I… really feel like this nails it, however. WWE Performance Center coach Jason Albert stars in a new romantic comedy centered around a pickle factory and a dog wedding, neither of which are unfortunate sexy euphemisms (thankfully).

Via 25th Frame:

Dog lovers and film buffs unite! “The Dog Wedding,” a bark-out-loud romantic comedy about a German businesswoman (Rosalie Thomass) who falls for an American wrestler (Matthew Bloom) while planning their English Bulldogs’ wedding, premieres September 21, 2015 at AMC Loews Boston Common at 7:00pm.

“The movie is about how dogs bring people together, even those you would least expect,” said 6’8″, 360-pound Mr. Bloom, who is known worldwide for his 15-year career with WWE and New Japan Pro Wrestling. “I’ve had bulldogs my whole life and we’ve made all kinds of friends at the dog park. I can’t wait to share this film with the world, starting in my hometown of Boston.”

Ms. Thomass is the star of the German box office hit “One Hot Number” and “Taxi,” which she headlines with Peter Dinklage (“Game of Thrones”). “Dogs getting married was new to me,” she confessed. “I was thrilled to explore how my character “” an overworked executive at odds with her father over the direction of the family pickle empire “” would change when drawn into this wild American world of dog weddings, musclemen and cosplay.”

Okay, listen. You had me at “dog wedding,” but “overworked executive at odds with her father over the direction of the family pickle empire?” Pardon my language, but I am going to watch the heck out of this movie.

I’ve watched the trailer at least six times, and I still have yet to find out why the dogs are getting married in the first place, but also I super don’t care. One hundred percentĀ of ticket sales for the premiere will go to to Canine Companions for Independence, the MSPCA-Angell, Long Island Bulldog Rescue, and Juno’s Place, so if you’re in the Boston area, please buy a ticket, go to the screening, and then tell me absolutely everything.