Meet “King David Hogan,” aka David Bollea, nephew of WWE legend Hulk Hogan and latest human to confirm that Hogan’s entire family is batshit insane. He’s a 3-2-0 MMA fighter covered in watermarks and Affliction gear with a hit reality show called My Girlfriend Wants A Girlfriend. I’ll let KING DAVID tell you what it’s about, in case the title left too much to the imagination:
“I’ve been around the entire world, I’ve fought on national TV and I’ve dated some of the hottest women alive. But what happens when every girl you meet is hot? I need more than just a pretty face, I need something that’s REAL. So I’ve got 16 of the hottest girls on the planet who want to fight for my love. But there’s a catch. There’s always a catch.”
Your girlfriend drove a car into a tree and manslaughtered somebody? Your girlfriend’s dad has a weird crush on her? One of you is in Aces & Eights? Trying to figure out the catch here.
“See, I’ve already GOT a girlfriend. She’s bisexual, and she likes GIRLS.”
OOOOOH. The title makes so much sense now.
“So ladies, if you wanna get with me, you’ve gotta get with her. Stay tuned, and get ready for the ride of your life.”
The preview ends with an isolated heartbeat, if that tells you the level of art we’re dealing with.
Before you ask, yes, I will be doing intense analytical recaps of every episode of this. I may also throw myself through a window.