The Knockout Report 12/6/18: Cry-Baby

12.07.18 9 months ago 4 Comments

Impact Wrestling

Hello Impact fans and curious rubberneckers! I’m Elle Collins, and this is the Knockout Report. I’ll fill you in on everything that happens in Impact Wrestling, but I’m always going to lead with the Knockouts Division, because they deserve it. You can follow me on Twitter here, With Spandex here, and Uproxx here. You can watch Impact Wrestling on Pop every Thursday at 10 p.m. Then on Fridays, read this column and share it with everyone you know.

Last week, Gail Kim returned when Tessa Blanchard wouldn’t stop beating up referees, and Tommy Dreamer main evented for some reason. Now without further ado, here’s the Knockout Report for December 6, 2018.

Allie Defeated Heather Monroe

It’s really exciting to see Allie back in the ring for the first time now that she’s lost her soul, fully embraced the darkness, and become Su Yung’s closest ally. It’s hilarious that she still has the same entrance video with the bubbles and the spinning bunny head, but now it’s all in dark grays splattered with crimson.

As a performer, Allie becomes more and more impressive with every iteration of her character. She’s not just meaner and more vicious now. She has different mannerisms and facial expressions. She’s not cold and affectless like in the segment where this new persona was (literally) unveiled. She has an evil laugh and an unsettling scream, both of which she employs in the ring. Some of her twitchy movements are deliberately similar to Su’s, but she’s not a clone either. She’s also not doing the same stuff she did in that match where she cosplayed as Rosemary. She’s building her own demonic character with influences from the ones around her, and she’s great at it. I don’t know how quickly this story will resolve, but I feel like I could watch her do this for a while.

Obviously she took Heather Monroe apart without too much trouble, and things got really creepy when Su handed her that nasty glove for the Mandible Claw. Now that she has Allie, and Rosemary’s out of the way, Su Yung doesn’t seem to care about putting people in coffins anymore. She just wants to hurt them as badly as she can, and now so does Allie.

Kiera Hogan Failed To Save The Day

Kiera’s the only hero left, at least of everyone involved in this particular story, and it’s starting to seem like she might not be enough. She thought she could remind Allie who she really is and everything would be okay, but just when it seemed like she was getting through to her, Allie attacked Kiera, and Su did too. It seems clear that Kiera needs an ally of some kind, but I don’t know whether she’s going to attempt right away to summon Rosemary, or try to reach out to other Knockouts in the meantime. I know she’s pretty busy with her own storyline, but if Taya Valkyrie wants to prove she’s a better person than Tessa Blanchard, teaming up with Kiera against the forces of a darkness for one tag match would go a long way. On the other hand I guess Kiera could just team up with Heather Monroe, but it’s just hard to get very excited about these guest-jobbers who never get to display a personality on TV (beyond “uncomfortably small gear” in Heather’s case).

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