Jim Cornette recently took a break from his busy schedule of complaining about the price of stamps to give an interview over at the In Your Head Podcast.
Making the natural assumption that someone in the wrestling business would be up on current, popular wrestling, Jim Cornette was asked whether or not he’s watched any Lucha Underground:
“No, I haven’t, and I’ll tell you why. Because it’s another wrestling promotion with a network putting a lot of money into a wrestling company with a writer instead of a booker. So the shit in the ring may be good but it don’t interest me because I’m only interested in wrestling that has bookers instead of writers. And here you go again…it’s Turner Broadcasting if they all spoke Spanish. Instead of hot dogs from the cafeteria, it’s hot dogs and burritos. That’s about the only difference in a wrestling company—in my opinion—being owned by a television broadcast company employing a bunch of writers.”
He then adjusted the onion on his belt before continuing to explain his twitter feud with the Young Bucks:
“They blocked me on Twitter! I’ve never been so insulted. I’ve been in riots, I’ve had a couple of dozen people in their life try to kill me, and The Young Bucks thought they were going to hurt my feelings because they blocked me on Twitter.”
I also block angry dudes who come at me with unsolicited opinions. It’s not to hurt their feelings, it just enhances your quality of life, really.
“The Bucks…did this move to this guy where one picks him up like he’s going to give him a tombstone piledriver and the other one leaps to the top rope, leaps off the top rope, does a front forward somersault, grabs the guy’s legs, and they give him a spike-piledriver. Boom! Cover him 1-2-somebody breaks up the pin, and they all continue the match and the Bucks didn’t even win. And so I made the comment that if somehow two guys had given that move to another guy on a show I was responsible for, and that guy left the arena under his own power, I would fire all three of them.
I just gave an opinion, and the Bucks got mad. I’m sorry, but it’s true and a lot of people in the business think so. It’s just that they look visually like small children, and they have to make up for it (they think) by doing all this devastating stuff, but the stuff isn’t devastating if you don’t beat people with it. Then you’re just going out there exposing the business because you can do a bunch of moves but you can’t ever actually whip somebody. It’s skewed thinking in my opinion.”
So to recap, the Bucks look like unbelievable small children who everybody hates and should be fired, writers have no business anywhere near wrestling, he doesn’t actually know anything about how Lucha Underground is run, and the Meltzer Driver exposes TH’BUSINESS. I do, however, like that he reinforced the my secret headcanon that all previous WWF managers entered into a secret paywindow tontine, and those attempts on his life came from Bobby Heenan trying to take him out.
Anyways, you can find these and more old white man wrestling hot takes at Cornette’s brand new website: