WWE Hall of Fame play-by-play man Jim Ross — who is still not dead, in case you were wondering — is so interested in calling Pittsburgh Pirates games that he’d be willing to relocate to do it. That’s per the following conversation on Twitter, which I assume is super serious and professionally binding:
At this point, “Jim Ross wants to do play-by-play for X” should be followed instantaneously with, “so X has already gotten in touch with him about it and he’s starting on Monday.” Ross would be the big league Tony Schiavone, who left wrestling to do baseball play-by-play for the International League Gwinnett Braves. In a different way, Jim Ross has always been the Big Leagues Tony Schiavone.
If you’re looking for an example of how it would look and feel for Good Ol’ JR calling Pedro Alvarez homers “slobberknockers” or comparing the Cincinnati Reds to one-legged men in ass kicking contests, the Internet has a wide variety:
JR can even make mascot races seem like the most violent and thrilling thing you’ve ever seen. Here he is getting bent out of shape over a chicken wing f*cking with a piece of celery.
Make it happen, Pirates.