John Cena Starts A New Job As A Foul-Mouthed Career Counselor

07.13.16 2 years ago 6 Comments

You know, it seems like only yesterday that John Cena had found his first life coach in Ghostbusters star Leslie Jones, whose mission it was to toughen him up and help him prepare for a post-wrestling career. Oh wait, sh*t, that was this morning? This ESPYs buildup is getting goddamned absurd.

But still, it’s hard to be upset at John Cena’s granite-chinned mug showing up in all sorts of comedy sketches and viral videos when the end result has by and large been pretty hilarious. Case in point: Cena’s latest comedic turn is that of a career counselor who has the mouth of a sailor (or Rusev, whatevs).

Watch as the face of the WWE discusses farm-to-table sh*t sandwiches, instructs people to “shut it the f*ck down” and proclaims, “Hang me in the motherf*cking Guggenheim!” If this hasn’t sold you on clicking the “play” button yet, I really don’t think you’re on the right website anymore. Enjoy!

The ESPYs, hosted by John Cena, air live on ABC tonight at 8 p.m. ET. No word on whether or not Cena will, in fact, be beaten up by the Club, but we’ll be tuning in just in case it happens.

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