In case you missed the lighting of the warning beacons, 15-time WWE Champion and Face That Runs The Place John Cena will be hosting the 2016 ESPY Awards. Despite the fact that his day job is being the chatty protagonist of a traveling live show that hosts 4-to-100-thousand people a night, Cena says he’s “pretty terrified” of the gig.
Via FTW:
“I know live entertainment, but this is something different for the first time. This is different, so I’m pretty terrified, but if I wasn’t nervous, I wouldn’t care … Usually I’m so used to kind of winging it. I know how to go out there and hold an audience for 7 to 20 minutes. I can even go for an hour, but this is different. It’s truly improvisational.”
If you’re reading that as a WWE fan, you should read it as, “John Cena is nervous about hosting the ESPYs and isn’t nervous about those 20-minute speeches he does on Raw, because he doesn’t care about what he says on Raw.” Here’s a tip for hosting: Talk about what an electric and/or hot crowd there is at the awards show here tonight, acknowledge that some of the crowd doesn’t like you and how that’s okay, then talk about how the athletes you don’t like are stinky. Take TWENTY MINUTES.
Don’t be worried about Cena’s ability to improv bad hygiene joke. He does it to himself in the same interview.
“Definitely might be a problem later in the night. Probably shouldn’t give me the old sportsman at the end of it all because you might get caught in a swamp, if you know what I mean.”
He’s very good at it.
“It’ll be greatest show in the history … this is going to be three hours of sh*t-your-pants entertainment, you want to watch with a bathroom nearby.”
Get ready for three hours of Crying Jordans. Jordans that are crying because their balls are sweaty. In their butts.
