With Leather’s Watch This: The Dancers From Rick’s Cabaret Have Advice For Eli Manning

There are probably a lot of really hungover football fans in New York and New Jersey today, after the Giants fell to the Kansas City Chiefs yesterday to drop their season record to 0-4. But whenever I’m looking for perspective in this bleak world, be it for my sports teams or the global economy and political climate, there’s always one group of people that I can turn to for the best and brightest perspective of them all – the exotic dancers at Rick’s Cabaret in New York City.

It’s been a while since I’ve checked in with my favorite girls, so of course when I caught up with them today over some scones and fishnet shopping, the topic du jour was poor Eli Manning and the G-Men. Fret not, Giants faithful, my girls have you covered.

“The Giants played poorly and it was embarrassing,” said Rick’s Cabaret NYC Girl Brielle. “But what they need right now is not for everyone to pile on. They need some support, some aid and comfort.”

“I will take their minds off of their awful 0 – 4 start,” promised Rick’s Cabaret NYC Girl Lindsay. “And we Rick’s Girls know how to do that better than anyone!”

“We want the Giants to know that we still love ’em,” cooed Rick’s Cabaret NYC Girl Destiny. “They can still turn it around–we believe in Eli Manning and the whole team.”

Rick’s Cabaret NYC Girl Valentina had a different point of view. “I’m a Jets fan, and I’m rooting for Geno Smith!”

Aw, booooooooo, Valentina! Nobody likes the Jets, not even the players and their relatives.

Monday Night Football: Dolphins at Saints – 8:40 PM ET on ESPN

The 3-0 Miami Dolphins head into the Big Easy to take on the 3-0 New Orleans Saints in what some people are calling a potential Super Bowl matchup. Wait, no. It’s what everyone is calling a potential Super Bowl matchup. But mainly for the Dolphins, because they’re the best team ever and will never lose another game forever.

MLB Wild Card Game: Rays at Rangers – 8 PM ET on TBS

Living in Central Florida, I have a subtle appreciation for what the Rays have been able to do over the last few seasons despite the general “We don’t really give a crap” mentality that most people in Tampa and St. Pete have about their baseball team. At the same time, poor Rangers fans have been teased and tormented with success while the team has been unable to seal the deal. I’d like to see both of these teams win a World Series, but since only one of them can win tonight, I hope it’s the team that will eventually lose to the Cardinals.

WWE Monday Night Raw – 8 PM ET on USA

I’m going to be 100% honest… I really miss Total Divas. I need it back in my life ASAP.