Previously on the Over/Under of Lucha Underground: Cage was eliminated from the Cueto Cup tournament due to Guante Excesivo, Worldwide Underground got an agent for some reason, and Prince Puma Dark advanced.
If you need to catch up on the rest of the episodes — if you aren’t caught up, you should need to catch up — you can read about season 1 here, and season 2 here. Season 3 episode recaps can be found here.
Hit those share buttons! Make sure to spread the column around so people can share in our love of all things Lucha, and encourage folks to finally bite the bullet and watch the first two seasons on Netflix. It’s on Netflix. Defenders isn’t out yet, so watch a cowboy lose via squirt gun.
And now, the Over/Under on Lucha Underground season 3, episode 28, originally aired on July 26, 2017.
Under: Water You Doing
If you’ve been following along with the Cueto Cup, you know that Lucha Underground has discovered screwy finishes and just won’t stop doing them. I don’t know what’s going on. It feels like every match as soon as it gets going just hits this wall, and suddenly there’s a run-in and whoosh we’re off to commercial. We come back and start over.
While I love Lucha’s ability to keep stories going and tie seemingly unrelated plots together, they’ve seriously got to refocus (next season, I guess) on remembering to finish the wrestling parts. If Worldwide Underground’s shtick is that they do run-ins on everything, it loses impact if the Reptile Tribe is also doing it and the Rabbit Tribe is doing it and Marty and Mariposa are doing it and Catrina’s doing it and Dante Fox and Kill Shot are doing it and Son of Havoc and Son of Madness are doing it and Texano and Famous B are doing it. It’s like the entire tournament. The Cueto Cup is just a competition to see who can cheat best. Was … that the point all along? Have I been watching it wrong?
Anyway, the first match of the week is The Mack vs. Texano, which is solidly entertaining throughout until — you guessed it — the run-in happens. Famous B gets into the ring with a water pistol and sprays The Mack, and Texano’s able to capitalize and win with a powerbomb. Matt Striker starts in on this weird commentary tangent about how he wonders if it’s water in the gun — it is — or vinegar, because when his cats are bad he sprays them with vinegar. I bet Matt Striker’s couch stinks. I think I thought that before the vinegar bit.
Also Running In This Week
The main event of Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. PJ Black is underwhelming as hell, especially after Black’s coming out party as a great in-ring wrestler last week. He’s settled right back into Unremarkable NXT Guy, which is still pretty good, but nowhere near what we saw against Prince Puma.
The point is to get to the Worldwide Underground interference part, which probably could’ve been done after the match. Mysterio beats Mundo’s lackey to add more heat to Mysterio/Mundo, right? Instead of just doing that, we got a run-in from the entire posse AND a save run-in from El Dragon Azteca Jr., and it just kinda feels like a mess. I love the idea of the Cueto Cup, but man, you’ve got to vary the match layouts if you’re gonna do a company-wide tournament.
?: He Seems To Have An Invisible Cult, Yeah
You shouldn’t do that, nerd.
In probably the second best of three backstage segments, Son of Madness and Son of Havoc get into a half fight, half social argument about their motorcycle club. It turns out the group is called THE INVISIBLE CULT, which is great. I would’ve called them SON OF THE MASK, and cast Jamie Kennedy as the leader. Can Jamie Kennedy grow a beard?
Over: Rabbit Tribe Forever
This week’s Rabbit Tribe segment includes:
- Paul London and Mala Suerte playing checkers on Saltador’s body because he is literally checkers
- Mascarita Sagrada giving them a present he apparently wrapped himself and covered in bows
- The Rabbit tribe digging through a giant box for a small item, giving us this amazing GIF:
And, finally, the reveal that Mascarita Sagrada gave them a rabbit’s foot in a giant box full of packing peanuts in the ultimate “sorry you lost in the tournament, I hope you die” troll job. Brother needs to call 423-ICE-BURN. Also, how can I get the Fashion Police to investigate the Rabbit Tribe? That’s really the only company crossover I care about seeing.
Over: Dick Move To Spaceman
This week’s best match is Pentagon Dark vs. Drago, because of course it is. Pentagon is the MVP of this show, and episodes with him are better than episodes without. He’s got that Value Over Replacement Player thing I wrote about in this week’s Best and Worst of Smackdown. I’m glad the tournament rounds have gotten small enough that we don’t have to wait like 10 weeks to see him again.
Pentagon ends up defeating Drago in a match without a screwy finish, praise the Dark Master. They manage to save the run-ins for after the match. Pentagon tries to break Drago’s arm, and Kobra Moon gets the snake-piss kicked out of her when she tries to make the save. Just as it’s about to happen, our favorite time-traveling jerk Aero Star shows up and ACTUALLY makes the save. Aero Star’s been trying to talk some sense into Drago since he turned on the Super Friends, and he figures being a Good Brother would be a good step. He’s wrong, as Drago slams him on his face and lets Pentagon break his arm instead.
You might be wondering how Aero Star’s seen the future and knows what happens in the tournament but didn’t know not to do that, but if I’ve learned anything from watching Doctor Who, it’s the phrase, “fixed point in time.”
Sometime after the match, Catrina finds Pentagon backstage and uses what appears to be mind-meld (?) to remind him of how he’s screwed Mil Muertes in the past. This is setting up the very Game of Thrones scenario of a skeleton fighting a zombie led by a ghost. Or a hag, or whatever she is. Frankly, Pentagon should just hold Catrina in that armbreaker position and tell her he’ll let her go if she can pronounce “Mil Muertes.”
Unless I’m mistaken, we’re down to the elite 8. Pindar vs. Fenix (to continue the Saga of Drago), Pentagon vs. Texano (which hopefully involves Famous B squirting a pissed-off ninja skeleton and getting both of his arms and both of his legs broken), Mil Muertes vs. Jeremiah Crane (because they both love the world’s sexiest teleporting old lady), and Prince Puma vs. Dante Fox (in the battle of guys with PTSD).
That should set up Pentagon vs. Mil Muertes and Puma vs. Fenix, which is abso-goddamn-lutely a best case scenario in every direction. Puma vs. Pentagon in the dopest finals ever, please and thank you.