Previously on Lucha Underground: We discovered that the “savage” part of The Savage Jake Strong is apparently the monster voice he hides in day to day conversation.
Hit those share buttons! Make sure to spread the column around so people can share in our love of all things Lucha, and encourage folks to finally bite the bullet and watch the first two seasons on Netflix. It’s on Netflix. Watch it when you’re done watching The Haunting of Dracula’s House.
And now, the Over/Under on Lucha Underground season 4, episode 20, originally aired on October 24, 2018.
Over/Under: Coming On A Little Strong
Here’s a quick recap of the season, in case you’ve missed it:
- Jack Swagger shows up
- Swagger beats up a bunch of luchadors and “breaks their ankles,” accomplished by a loud sound effect that keeps them out of action anywhere between one week and indefinitely depending on what the bookers need
- Swagger is given an Ancient Aztec Medallion because he used to be in WWE and that’s cool
- Swagger enters a match against everyone else with medallions, wins easily, says he wants to beat them all again
- Swagger beats them all again, to win the Gift of the Gods Championship, giving him a chance to cash in Lucha Underground’s Money in the Bank, which I guess is the only way Jack Swagger’s ever getting title runs
- Oh also he defeated Johnny Mundo
- oh also he’s going to be Lucha Underground Champion by the end of this
It’s ridiculous of me to suggest, but I feel like this is some kind of grand cosmic karmic punishment for all those times I watched Raw and Smackdown and thought, “you know, I bet Jack Swagger’s actually pretty good, they should give him a push instead of having him be kinda racist and doing a funny hand thing.” God, who is made up entirely of monkey paws, was like, “lol, okay, enjoy season four of Lucha Underground, you smark.”
That’s this week’s show. The entire thing is a SEVEN TO SURVIVE~ match featuring all the Gift of the Gods medallion winners, and Jake Strong just kinda picking them all off throughout the hour while the crowd gets increasingly bothered by it. It’s fun, because every show-long match Lucha Underground does is structurally interesting and fun to watch, but yeah, they’re chanting “bullshit” at the end for a reason.
If I’m picking a highlight here, it’s definitely Drago showing up in the middle of the match in control of a forklift and wearing FULL SAFETY GEAR, including a hard hat with holes cut out for his horns to stick through. That is ADORABLE. Drago the Builder. Can we build it?? [breathes fire]
My only complaint is that they didn’t have Sami Callihan driving it and say he’s been reborn as “Jeremiah Crane.”
ANYWAY, the forklift shows up so Aerostar can more or less jump off the balcony onto everyone in a Temple where it’s hard to get up enough momentum to make it from the balcony to the ring. Although honestly there are probably easier ways to take out Big Bad Steve (overall rating 0) and King Cuerno, who might as well be Big Dick Johnson in a ski mask right now because he’s never going to be an important character on this show. I don’t get it, and I never will. One of the great unanswered questions of Lucha Underground.
Dante Fox looks like a total star in this match, by the way, which is why it’s extra depressing to see Jake Strong just trounce him and break his ankle. This season of Lucha Underground is basically that depressing Royal Rumble where Big Show and Kane walked around slowly eliminating everybody, and no amount of booing and complaining from the crowd could stop it.
Over: Johnny Mundo Becomes Heaven Bourne
The only other segment on the show almost single-handedly saves it, as we see Aerostar and Drago giving Johnny Mundo the Gauntlet of the Gods to power him up for the fight against Matanza Cueto. If Aerostar’s moving subtitles weren’t enough, please enjoy this GIF of Mundo doing the I HAVE THE POWER bit from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe and giving himself electricity abs.
That’s really it for the show, as Ultima Lucha Quatro begins next week and we enter what might be Lucha Underground’s end game. I sure hope it isn’t, and that this was just a “gas leak” season we can move on from and refocus on a streamlined, less chaotic season 5. Just give them a season where they start and end with the same roster, you know? I miss the stories paying off and rewarding long-time viewers, instead of just starting and stopping on the fly because of backstage issues, AAA mishaps, WWE signings, and contract problems.
What I’m saying is less Jack Swagger defeating your entire show with moves that barely ever defeated R-Truth on Main Event, more Johnny Mundo getting a power glove from a time traveler and his shapeshifting dragon boyfriend so he can defeat the God who ruined his wedding in a wrestling match.