The good folks at Total Nerd decided that Christmas should come a little early this year and provided us with a true Christmas editing miracle: a version of “Jingle Bells” as belted out by the late, great “Macho Man” Randy Savage. Check out this beautiful baby below.
Where do I even begin? I have a BFA in Film Editing and this is the wrestling equivalent of anything Walter Murch ever accomplished. The juxtaposition and composition are flawless. The jump cuts are Breathless. The choice of Jingle Bells? Priceless.
I want this as my ringtone. I want a Macho Man Wrestling Buddy with a Santa hat and when you squeeze him, this plays on a loop. I’d stuff it into the stocking of every child I know. I’d stuff it into the stocking of every child I don’t know.
I want to become a mall Santa for one day and hand out Macho Man thumb drives with only this song on it. I want to make a Spotify playlist that is just this song listed 100 times. I want Neil Garguilo to make an animated series of The Santa Clause where Randy Savage has to become the new Saint Nick, and this is the theme song. Every episode ends with Rudolph snapping into a Slim Jim.
And my final Christmas wish: I want Total Nerd to do an entire album of Christmas songs in this style. Allow me to present the track listing for A Very Macho Christmas:
1) Macho Bells (natch)
2) Have Yourself A Very Savage Christmas
3) Tossy The Throwman
4) Oh (Yeah) Randy Night
5) Macho The Elbowed Reindeer
6) Savage Bells
7) Macho Got Run Over By The Horsemen
8) Do They Know It’s Macho Man At All?
9) Savage Wonderland
10) What Poffo Is This? (No Sleeves)
11) Savage Night, Macho Night
12) All I Want For Christmas is A World Heavyweight Championship Match
13) Christmas In Memphis
My only regret is that Macho Man is no longer with us to see this glorious video for himself. In the spirit of the season, I’ll let Tony “The Creamster” Pensacola walk us through the other legends of the squared circle we’ve lost to the ages.
Godspeed, Macho Man. God bless, Total Nerd.