Comedians want to be pro wrestlers the way athletes want to be rappers the way rappers want to be athletes the way pro wrestlers want to be comedians. The evidence is everywhere. The “comedian destroys heckler” YouTube clips is the “shoot interview.” Pro wrestlers are taking improv classes on their off days to improve their spontaneity skills. Retired wrestlers are replacing appearances in bingo halls with shows in comedy theaters.
In this new feature for With Spandex, I’ll be talking to notable comedians about their love of wrestling, how the sports entertainment business has affected their livelihood, and of course, what they would change in the current landscape of WWE.
Our first guest is comedian and writer Mike Lawrence. Mike’s credits include the MTV Movie Awards, @midnight, and his Comedy Central Records album Sadamantium. His chosen wrestling name would be The Broken Jew with his finishing move “The Resignation.” Ring the bell!
We start in the beginning, when Mike was 5 or 6 years old. The Ultimate Warrior and Jake the Snake is what he remembered as the gateway drugs. The WWF Superstars video game with Rick Rude helped a lot. But who has Mike despised from the very beginning, despite being the target demographic?
“I always hated Hulk Hogan. I still do. I’m sad that he’s racist, but I’m glad I was justified.”
I think a lot of wrestling fans who were anti-Hogan maybe temporarily joined team red-and-yellow during that Earthquake feud in 1990. Not Mike Lawrence, though. “I was never on his side. He was always a dick. He was always whining and complaining. Even the whole him and Andre thing, which was before my time, but I watched it later. He’s like ‘all you had to do was ask,’ but he should have given him the title shot. Dick move, Hogan.”
What’s the weirdest piece of merchandise Mike owns? “I had a Chris Benoit shirt for way longer than I should have. Someone gave it to me after he was a murderer. I wore it when I cleaned the house, but recently just threw it away.” Motion for everyone to throw their Chris Benoit shirts away. Or at least hide them.
Mike’s got ideas for what should happen next for wrestler/comedian in training Dolph Ziggler. “Team Dolph Ziggler with Paul Heyman,” says Lawrence. “Heyman should have Roman Reigns, too, as Brock Lesnar is basically a babyface anyway. When Heyman was given Cesaro and Curtis Axel, he got lazy with them, but with Ziggler, who’ll work his ass off, Heyman can help push this bitter angle. You know, he’s been there for so long and he’s been thrown aside. Everything he does is futile. He beat the Authority single handedly, but got no respect for it.” Mike continues with the book. “As far as who to remove from the main event scene, I’m taking out the Authority. Let Paul Heyman be the new Bobby Heenan and start the Heyman Family. I’m so sick of the heel authority figure. You’re not gonna get another good Vince McMahon/Stone Cold story out of the Authority. It’s disgusting, get it off my TV.”
What’s the funniest thing that Mike Lawrence has ever seen in wrestling?
“Everyone says The Shockmaster, but Zach Gowen being thrown down the stairs by Brock Lesnar is amazing. In the 2014 Hall of Fame, Jake the Snake gave the greatest speech ever and it was followed by Jerry Lawler getting hit in the nuts by El Torito. It was laughably sad.”
Mike admitted that wrestling has influenced his performance in ways that include his attempting to get heel heat from time to time. And that if he could have any pro wrestler join him on a comedy tour, he would go with CM Punk. “He seems a little stand-offish, but it would be fun. Mick Foley is sad to watch get out of a car, but I bet he’d be a lot of fun, too.”
Mike’s next big thing is continuing to write, as the comic just finished Inside Amy Schumer season four and he’s hoping to be back for season five. “If the Authority allows it, of course.”
Follow Mike Lawrence on Twitter and watch his stand-up comedy. Follow comedian and pro wrestling manager Chris Trew here.
