Morning Links: Greater Men Upstairs

Sports (mostly)

LeBron Congratulates the Mavericks – Whoever wrote this did a really good job! [Sportress of Blogitude]

This Week in F**k You: Footnotes – This is how big of a dork I am: the article references David Foster Wallace’s footnotes, and my only frame of reference for them is Dave Barry. You’re ripping off Dave Barry, Bill Simmons! What’re you gonna do next, write 20,000 words about boogers? [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

The Best and Worst of WWE All-Star Raw 6/13 – I had my first ever Podcast interview last night with TH’s The Wrestling Blog, and if I learned nothing else, it’s that I should stick to writing paragraphs and not try to talk to people about things in real life. I am a rambling interrupting machine! [With Spandex]

TNA Wrestler Qualifies for Food Stamps – and about 3/4 of the roster can qualify for disability, what’s your point? Jesse Neal should qualify for being a professional wrestler by being better at wrestling professionally. Shannon Moore has like eight houses, and he’s terrible. [Camel Clutch Blog]

Not Sports (but oh man)

The Kate Upton Guide To Becoming An Internet Sensation By Your 19th Birthday – Whoops, here’s Kate Upton again, because I don’t have any qualifiers or precedent for who gets to be my Morning Links Lovely Lady of the Bottom Half. Also, every time I post a link about her, I’ve got an excuse to Google image search the sh** out of her. [Next Round]

Good For Health, Bad For Careers: A Gallery Of Careers That Suffered From Sudden Weight Shifts – Already getting tired of seeing people refer to Fat Joe as “Not So Fat Joe!” As someone who has lost 100 pounds in his life (twice, nearly) I appreciate rappers getting in shape, and D’Angelo looking like Kimbo Slice. [Smoking Section]

Scene Breakdown: Cool As Ice – Good for health, bad for careers: signing up to be in a movie with Vanilla Ice. I think my version of this scene breakdown would just be a big picture of Vanilla with “owns motorcycle, is bad boy” under it in big letters. [Film Drunk]

Sean Bean Stabbed in Bar Fight, Orders Another Drink – Not as good as the headline from a few years ago, Sean Bean Dropped Onto Satellite Dish From Great Height, Orders Another Drink. (note: he ordered it shaken, not stirred) (professional comedy writer) [Warming Glow]

TV Show Names According To My Mom – One of my least favorite memories of all time is playing Charades with my family. My Aunt guessed “The Bart Simpson Show” and my family gave it to her. Almost killed myself in front of them. [Buzzfeed]