Paul Heyman, for all his ability to manipulate the English language, has never been one to mince words. In a recent interview with Inside the Ropes, Heyman addressed Dean Ambrose’s dissatisfaction with his match against Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania 32 in 2016, which Ambrose vented about in a controversial appearance on Stone Cold Steve Austin’s podcast. These transcripts are courtesy of 411Mania, and apologies if they’re a bit long. It is Paul Heyman talking, after all.
Oh, I’m sure Dean Ambrose is very frustrated with it. Is he frustrated with his own performance on the Stone Cold Podcast? [Fans react] Woo what? Woo what? I didn’t insult him. I’m speaking the truth. You ask the question, you get an answer from me. Sorry that I’m being blunt, what [expletive bleeped out]. Come on. Come on. Did you see his performance on the Stone Cold Podcast? Did it piss off Steve Austin? Did it piss you off too? You think he actually didn’t come into the match with Brock Lesnar with the same attitude? Ask Braun Strowman what happens when you take liberties with Brock Lesnar. Ask Randy Orton what happens when you take liberties with Brock Lesnar. Ask The Undertaker what happens when you take liberties with Brock Lesnar. If that’s what happened because I’m not telling you that’s what it was. I’m just throwing out a conspiracy theory for you to think about. You mess with Brock Lesnar, the match is not going to be that good. You’re just going to get your ass kicked. You’re going to get stretched. You’re going to get thrown around, dumped on your head, and Brock Lesnar’s going to go out and eat dinner and call you an asshole when it’s all over. That’s it.
Later in the interview, Heyman goes in on the very idea that anyone would call Brock Lesnar lazy:
Anybody who thinks Brock Lesnar is lazy is not taking a look at the right circumstances. Come on, lazy?! Lazy got him to an NCAA Division I Heavyweight championship? Lazy had him knock out Randy Couture in his fourth MMA fight? The greatest heavyweight champion of all time. Brock Lesnar didn’t grapple Randy Couture, take down, tap him out. He knocked out Randy Couture in his fourth professional fight! He works his way back to WWE after almost dying from diverticulitis! He comes into this locker room. He’s 265 pounds. Then he goes back to 295 pounds and decides to fight a Top 8 heavyweight after six years out of the Octagon named Mark Hunt. I have to say that name separately – Mark Hunt – because if you say it fast [shakes head] that’s what happens to the Samoans brother! Goes down to 265, beats Mark Hunt and comes back at 295 six weeks later in WWE and puts on a performance that pissed off everybody to a point that people in the locker room thought it was for real. And maybe it was because I’m not telling you when it comes to Brock Lesnar. I’m just throwing it out there for you to decide for yourselves. Mic drop.
First of all, please don’t say “Mic drop” yourself. That’s for somebody else to decide. Obviously Heyman’s job is to advocate for Lesnar, and he never seems to be 100% out of kayfabe when he talks about him. There’s obviously a difference between being lazy in general and frequently wrestling uninspired matches, although Brock’s matches have gotten more exciting again since 2016, to be fair. It’ll be interesting to see how things go between Brock and Seth at WrestleMania 35, especially now that his old rival Roman Reigns is wrestling again.