Here Are The Five Things To Get Irrationally Upset About From This Year’s PWI 500

Pro Wrestling Editor
09.04.15 70 Comments
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WWE

It’s that time again, folks, where we pretend we care about the rankings in Pro Wrestling Illustrated‘s annual PWI 500.

This year’s No. 1 spot went to current WWE World Heavyweight and United States Champion Seth Rollins, which shouldn’t surprise you.

That said, the point of the PWI 500 is supposed to be a ranking of the 500 top male professional wrestlers in the world, but it’s actually just a yearly excuse for wrestling fans to get irrationally pissed about a list and angrily talk about it for a few days. It’s like PWI’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, but instead of naked models in the Caribbean, we get Jeff Jarrett 39 spots ahead of Dalton Castle. It’s insane. It’s a list made by people who don’t watch wrestling, but have to write about it for living, compiling a list to anger people who respectively do and don’t.

You can check out the full list here. Nerd alert, as the guy who typed it up decided to give everybody their full names, even if they don’t go by them anymore. We thumbed through the list and compiled our five top choices for things you should get mad about, with “should” used in the loosest possible way.

ENJOY.

1. Brock Lesnar isn’t on the list.

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WWE

If we (wrestling) observe that the PWI 500 tracks from September to September, Brock Lesnar was WWE World Heavyweight Champion for half the year. A kayfabe list that contains Space Monkey, “Kay Jutler,” Cheeseburger and The Stro, WWE World Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar isn’t ranked. According to PWI, you’ve got to have at least 20 matches during the year or wrestle in seven different months, and Brock didn’t qualify. Keep in mind that this list is not real and not actually based on anything tangible — and that it includes wrestlers like “Steve Stardom,” who haven’t had a documented match since 2013 — so make of that what you will.

Our best guess is, “20 matches/seven months applies to you if you’re famous enough for us to know who you are, but at some point we’ve got to fill 500 spots and are just going to the Online World of Wrestling profiles page and writing in names.” Wait, that can’t be it, because Daniel Bryan was No. 14. Did Daniel Bryan have 20 matches this year?

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