“Brock Lesnar will conquer the WWE Universe at the Royal Rumble. Brock Lesnar will prove that anyone who doubts my spoilers will be proven false, and that 29 other men will understand that my spoilers will tell you the future, and my spoilers shall set you free, because only the TRUTH flows from my mouth, and that TRUTH, will-“ [cue ‘What’s Up’]
“I’m glad you called me out here, Paul.”
Last week’s biggest Monday Night Raw news was that WWE Champion Brock Lesnar was declaring for the Royal Rumble and choosing to enter at number one. This week’s biggest news? Everybody wants Brock Lesnar vs. R-Truth, all of a sudden.
Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman made their semi-regular appearance on Raw to provide Heyman’s signature “spoilers” for the upcoming Royal Rumble match, only to be interrupted by the 24/7 Champion. Truth declared himself for the Royal Rumble, reminded us that his “childhood hero” John Cena taught him to never give up, and
“It ain’t the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. The bigger they come, the harder they fall. You may be a big, BIG, BIIIIG man, but I know you will go flying over that top rope … Paul Heyman.”
Truth’s response when he realizes he’s going to fight Brock Lesnar instead of Paul Heyman is classic. “So you not in it? Okay, okay, my bad.” He then undeclares for the Royal Rumble, and blamed his confusion on Heyman talking a lot. The pure joy on Brock Lesnar’s face during this entire thing is infectious, in case you’ve ever wanted to know what a belligerent murder baby looks like while he’s having the time of his life. Us too, Brock. It’s at least the most he’s laughed since this:
Unfortunately, the segment ended with Truth being leveled and taken to “Sioux Falls City.” Brock: “That’s what’s up.” Can we get Truth vs. Lesnar at one of those February pay-per-views? We could set up Truth vs. John Cena in a student vs. mentor match at WrestleMania.
