Riff Raff Believes The Secrets To Becoming A Pro Wrestler Are Burgers And Gumbo

Full disclosure: I don’t understand RiFF RaFF. At first I thought he was just Boy Ke$ha, but the more I’m exposed to him, the more I’m reminded of the guy on an all-night streetcar who insisted on showing my friends and I his collection of chest tattoos featuring clowns holding various types of guns whether we wanted to see them or not. It’s not harmful, per sé, but it’s definitely a thing I’m going to nod and smile at while patiently waiting for it all to be over, lest I engage and things get much, much worse.

RiFF RaFF (aka MTV RiFF RaFF, aka Jody Highroller) wants to be a WWE Superstar. He’s enlisted the help of Hulk Hogan, and even has his own moveset and Bret Hart-inspired t-shirt. But it takes more than a bunch of neon and some muscles to become a pro wrestler, especially if you aren’t named The Ultimate Warrior. In the video below, RiFF RaFF took VICE staff through his diet and training regimen, discusses giving up coke because he missed a basketball game, and then throws “20,000” slices of pizza at concertgoers:

Now, I’m no certified dietologist, but I feel like that might not be how fitness and health actually work? I could be wrong, though. I also don’t want to run into whatever a RiNG AROUND THE ROSEY ROSE GOLD RiNG TOSS is once he and his pythons reach that 240lb dream weight.