Rowdy Roddy Piper Says Mark Wahlberg Is Playing Him In A Rowdy Roddy Piper Biopic

“Just when they think they got the answers, I change the questions. Say hi to your mother for me.”

In news that seems to be desperately tying together With Spandex and Film Drunk, WWE Hall of Famer Rowdy Roddy Piper claims there’s a movie being made about his life and that Mark Wahlberg will be playing him.

According to The Observer, Piper namedropped Wahlberg during a one-man show in Scotland. It’s an interesting casting choice to say the least. Both men share a history of horrible horror movies — Pro Wrestlers vs. Zombies and The Happening, I’m looking in YOUR direction — but Marky Mark’s got just enough “crazy asshole” in him to play Piper in his prime. Wahlberg is probably in better shape than Piper ever was.

I’m actually more interested in who ELSE gets cast in the movie. Does Rampage Jackson get to play Mr. T again? Will Zooey Deschanel show up as Cyndi Lauper? Can somebody convince Paul Giamatti to play Captain Lou Albano? Hell, let’s get as meta as possible and cast The Rock as Hulk Hogan. Are we covering the later years of Piper’s career, too? If you can get Brendan Fraser to be Sean O’Haire I’ll go see it 1,000 times.