Since WrestleMania, the dynamic between “The Ravishing Russian” Lana and “The Bulgarian Brute” Rusev has been torn apart. Up until WrestleMania, the situation had been that Rusev is a tough Bulgarian guy who loves and is loved by Vladimir Putin, and Lana was his manager slash crush instructor slash possible girlfriend. It never really ventured into romance angle territory.
Eventually, Rusev got mad about Lana getting attention from a WWE crowd she’d spent so long chastising, and they broke up. On the same episode as the breakup, Lana made out with Dolph Ziggler, and they instantly established a physical chemistry usually reserved for dogs and cats. Rusev turned into an obsessive stalker for a few weeks, but ultimately ended up in the arms of Summer Rae, who he immediately started dressing and instructing to act like Lana. That turned into a catty love rectangle with accusations that Dolph and Summer were hooking up. Lana got injured and the story had to be put on hold, and then suddenly Lana and Rusev were engaged in real life. That caused the entire angle to be dropped, and now they’re doing damage control in sit-down interviews that are honestly more confusing than helpful.
Contained in this clip:
1. The revelation that Lana is a virgin and saving herself for marriage. There was a segment on Raw this week where she said she and Ziggler didn’t “go all the way,” and Rusev said he and Summer didn’t go all the way, either.
2. Lana completely dropping her accent on several occasions — notably at the 2:17 mark — which is either her not being able to hold it for several minutes of conversation, or a Kofi Kingston “we’re just gonna drop the act and move on” situation.
3. Michael Cole feeling it’s necessary to badger a newly engaged couple about whether or not they actually love each other or have ever had sex with other people. He’s a journalist, I guess, but doesn’t he have anything better to do? “Do you love Lana?” Rusev should’ve asked Cole if he likes getting kicked as hard as possible in the face with tiny little feet.
And that doesn’t even get to the part where Rusev says he has “the Facetime” and “the Skype.” What’s going on here? Why is this a thing? I need an adult.