NXT’s Sami Zayn Was The Real Winner This Valentine’s Day

Out of all the heated debates that pro wrestling is at the center of, no one can deny the plain and simple fact that everyone loves Sami Zayn. If you say otherwise, we’ll all sit back and wait patiently for you to log your dumb lying face off of the internet forever because mmmmmohmygod, stop effing lying.

No one is impervious to Zayn’s doofy Canadian charms, not even fickle Valentine Finn Bálor. First, Bálor seemed all for Team Báley:

But oh, that capricious Irishman wasn’t done:

While it seems the NXT Champion has a lot of love to give, we all know where this is going. How could it go anywhere else? Sami Zayn is the internet’s boyfriend, and #1 Desirable Valentine with a bullet (club):

Oh? Still not convinced? Hrm, I thought you had logged off like we said you should earlier. Alright, well, because you still seem to be sticking around, how about this? Not even wildly popular internationally acclaimed cartoon television shows can resist Zayn’s checkerboard-clad charisma:

Hear that? That’s the sound of a thousand Bob’s Burger’s/NXT crossover high school AU fanfics coming to life. So see, unless your name is Kevin Owens — who is inextricably tied to Zayn forever regardless of how much he claims to hate him — you really don’t have a leg to stand on.

Yup. Wrestling’s Internet boyfriend forever.

Now, who do we talk to so that all future Zayn, Bayley, and Bálor 8x10s look like this?