Screeching Weasel Is Trying To Get Its Female Fans To Fight CM Punk In Real Life

Screeching Weasel may have officially done the least punk thing of all time.

Back in 2011, lead singer Ben ‘Weasel’ Foster punched two women during the Chicago-based band’s SXSW show in Austin. As the story goes, a drunk, female fan had thrown a beer and ice cubes at him, so Weasel offered to fight her. He punched her in the face, then started taking swings at the club owner for trying to pull him away. If you’re a Screeching Weasel fan who has popped by to cry “allegedly” and explain why he was totally justified in punching ladies in the face, here’s the video.

News of the incident made the rounds and found itself in the lap of CM Punk, a pro wrestler whose three greatest interests might be “Chicago,” “punk music” and “not punching women in the face.” His tweet was effective and to-the-point:

Years later, Ben Weasel has decided to organize a cadre of women and fans who agree with his “it’s fine that I hit those women” stance and have them challenge CM Punk to a fight on-stage in Chicago. Typing that sentence makes it feel even stupider than it is. Here’s Weasel’s post from the band’s Facebook page which is an incredible combination of white knight accusations, incorrect assumptions about a pro wrestler, and War Machine-esque delusion

Okay gang, CM Punk’s been running his mouth again and it’s time to teach him a lesson. Who’s CM Punk, you ask (along with the rest of the world)? Some washed up, burnt-out, has-been former wrestler who’s been reduced to hanging out on Twitter challenging guys half his size to fist fights, that’s who. I wish I was joking.

Yours truly was targeted by the big goof when he saw a YouTube video purportedly showing me hitting two women while on stage in Austin TX a few years ago. In fact I was hugging those ladies with my fists, not that it’s any of his business. But the slobbering nitwit still challenged me to a fight, I guess so women will feel like he’s a really great guy.

Well, guess what? I don’t believe our female fans are delicate flowers in need of the protection of some oily mouth-breather who runs around in his underwear pretending to fight other men for a living. I think you ladies can hold your own. Heck, I KNOW you can.

So I’m challenging all our female fans – including all our M-F transgender fans – to stand up with us on stage at our show in Chicago on 11/22 and challenge the big goon to a fight. He thinks it’s so easy to slug a chick? Let’s see him try!

This is not a joke. If you’re up to the challenge and can throw a solid punch, or even just kick a gym-muscled bully in his shriveled-up, steroid-ravaged nuts, post in this thread. Our road manager Kotton will contact you if we can use your help.

Let’s shut this buffoon’s mouth once and for all!

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Aside from Weasel doing the least imaginable amount of research and assuming spindly, Straight Edge, comic book writing CM Punk is a massive Ryback type, the language used here makes it easy to see who’s in the wrong. “Purportedly showed me hitting two women.” Purportedly? What, did they CGI it? “Hugging those ladies with my fists.” “Women will feel like he’s a really great guy.” “I don’t believe our female fans are delicate flowers.” I didn’t think I’d ever see a Facebook status vaping and wearing a fedora, but here we are. I don’t think the simplicity of punching a woman was the issue, man.

We’ll keep you updated. If you go to the show, please let us know if CM Punk shows up and knees anybody in the face.