Texas Tech already has one win under their belt after the opening weekend of the NCAA football season. What better way to celebrate being technically undefeated than staging a mock WWE title match on a long weekend?
Strength and conditioning coach Rusty Whitt did his best JoJo impression (sadly without the balanced Booty-Os) and brought out assistant coaches Scott Salwasser and Adam Hymel as The Miz and John Cena. While they didn’t run through his full Five Moves of Doom, this fake Smackdown showdown still ended with shocking accuracy as Cena Five Knuckle Shuffled his way to a quick and decisive victory.
If your NCAA allegiances are hooked on any other Texas teams and you need a further reason to root against the Red Raiders, please note Whitt’s repeated use of the “WHAT” chant, the most anathemic call and response in pro wrestling.
Texas Tech recently made headlines for the revelation that their coaching staff will pose as cute coeds on Twitter to catfish their players. The next logical step? Catfishing them as John Cena. That’s definitely gotta be less uncomfortable than a bunch of grown men calling themselves Tiffani-With-An-I and sending heart-eyed emojis to teen football players, right?
Joking, joking. It would be impossible to catfish someone as John Cena. You can’t even see him.