– In case you missed it, the vintage Best and Worst of Raw is back. We jumped forward three years to coordinate it with the Nitro report, so it’s the same general malaise with 100% more Isaac Yankem. Enjoy!
– Shares, likes, comments and other social media things are appreciated.
And now, the Best and Worst of WWE Raw for May 5, 2015.
Best: New Voices At The Top Of The Show
Randy Orton and Roman Reigns open the show with a would-be 20-minute discussion about PAYBACK, and about how YOU think YOU want payback at Payback, but no, it is *I* who wants payback at Payback. Orton’s an over-explainer and sometimes gets real heated and rushes through promos, so combining it with Roman’s fart-faced “I’m waiting to say my COOL LINES” thing is the Danger Zone. They pause for a little too long for a musical interruption (to the point it looks like Orton’s forgotten his lines again) and out comes … The New Day?
Here’s what I learned from last night’s opening: these boring, establishing-shot promos wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t always include the same voices. If it’s The Authority, you know every word they’re going to say. Same with Orton, Cena or whichever new guy is the Babyface Flavor of the Month and gets the default Irreverent Ass-Kicker speech. Daniel Bryan, Roman Reigns, whomever. If you inject something fresh and new, even if it’s only every once and a while, these things suddenly become dynamic.
There’s so much to love here, from Randy Orton bobbing his head and practically clapping along to The New Day’s entrance theme to them dropping Deez Nuts lines on him and Reigns and cackling about it. There’s something truly engaging about these guys as characters who’ve faked positivity until it was real, and are now overwhelmed by it. They were solemnly clapping to themselves in the gutter and it paid off for them, so now they can’t achieve a modicum of success without it going to their heads. They’re like the kids on the Brady Bunch. All humble and good-hearted until they win Most Popular Girl, and then they’re just MONSTERS.
Anyway, more promos that make Roman Reigns make Ew! face.
Worst: Booker T
I guess Booker T spent a lot of time on the Internet this week and read about something called “The Freebird Rule.” He didn’t know what it meant but he saw people saying The New Day were using it, so he applied the term to the first thing he saw that made sense.
The actual rule says that any two members of a three-member team could defend the tag team championships on any given night. For the Freebirds, that meant if Michael Hayes and Terry Gordy won the belts, they had three title match options: Hayes/Gordy, Hayes/Buddy Roberts or Gordy/Roberts. WWE.com shows all three members of The New Day as tag champs, so if they’re enacting the Freebird Rule, they can defend as Big E/Kofi, Big E/Woods or Woods/Kofi. Got it?
Booker T thinks the Freebird Rule means they can use all three guys in tag matches to make every match 3-on-2. Michael Cole tries to correct him and explain that the tag titles aren’t on the line in this impromptu handicap match, but Booker’s just saying FREEBIRD RULE over and over and doesn’t care. I don’t know how Booker T managed to be the worst guy at an announce table featuring Cole and skunk-drunk 2015 JBL, but here we are. “TALK ABOUT FREEBIRDS, COLE, KOFI KINGSTON REMINDED ME OF LYNYRD SKYNYRD ON THAT DIVE … HE JUST PLAIN CRASHED AND BURNED!”
Best: The Topes Win A Game!
Here’s the good news: the tag team champions were put into a 3-on-2 handicap match against two top singles stars and actually WON. I know, it feels like a mistake, right?
If you’ve got two guys who hate each other and never team up teaming up against your tag team champions, the tag team champions should almost always win. They’re a professional tag team, and their notable skill is being the best guys at tag teams. If you job them out to guys who are barely interested and never do this — something that happens a LOT on WWE TV — you devalue the entire division. You say there’s no value in being a tag team specialist, and that tag teams are just dudes who got together because they couldn’t win matches by themselves. WWE’s also really into having the outnumbered team win handicap matches, which should be even rarer. It should be a MIRACLE to beat more than one person at a time, unless you’re Ryback or Andre the Giant or whoever and you’re wrestling cans.
I enjoyed the New Day’s opening promo and got scared when they announced Reigns and Orton vs. them in a handicap match, but for once it all played out and made sense. The singles guys looked strong and lost because they’re dumb-as-bricks WWE babyfaces, and the tag champs (who are admittedly on a much lower level professionally than either of the singles stars) got to win “fairly” without really winning fairly. They got a clean pin, but they were a man up. The advantage worked, which is and should always be the point. The match defied my expectations by doing the thing it’s supposed to do instead of the unreasonable opposite, and that got me in a good, positive mood for the rest of the night.
The New Day is making me feel positive. Holy shit, it worked.
Worst: The Two Characters You Never Want To Hear Talk Again Have A Long Conversation About Nothing
Okay, positivity can only go so far.
Bray Wyatt and Ryback are feuding, and it makes sense because they’ve each only got one promo. Bray’s is that gaspy, vague “new face of fear” promo delivered from a smoky room somewhere backstage because if he delivers it in the ring, people will tune out and start Whatting him. They do it to a video screen sometimes. Bray’s promos go nowhere, mean nothing and are backed up by even less. Ryback’s one promo is how his wrestling career’s sucked but he’s still out here doing it, and that he loves The Secret. He literally eats negatives and literally shits positives. He’s basically a gamma radiated Bo Dallas who mentions food.
The crowd maintains a constant rumble of “eeeerrrrnggghhhh” through most of this, but ultimately proves that even the snarkiest, most self-involved crowds will stop chanting and having opinions when it’s time to hit their corporately-decided wrestlecues. They’ll boo Ryback until he says “feed me more,” and the desire to ALSO say “feed me more” overrules the frustration of, say, paying a hundred dollars to sit in an arena and listen to a guy in an airbrushed onesie talk about PMA.
Best: Cesaro Can Be A Star Again With Like One Second Of Effort
I’m not in love with the idea of Cesaro and Tyson Kidd suddenly becoming faces — especially when they’re just backstage interrupting The New Day’s positivity party to call them names — but I do love them getting to wrestle like faces.
That’s something they should’ve been doing since day one. Even if you’re going to cheat and win or do a distraction rollup or whatever, utilize the fact that you’re two of the most dynamic, easy-to-like competitors on the roster and run with it. That’s not classically what WWE wants from its heels. They want them to wrestle the same slow, “methodical pace” and control the action so the face can fire up and get the reactions, I know. That’s how wrestling works. What I’m suggesting is that if you’ve had a stale-as-balls tag division for decades and need to bring it to life, maybe try something else? Play with it. See if you can break a few rules and defy a few conventions and have people look at at least THAT thing with a fresh set of eyes. Keep the rest of the show safe and comfortable and tried-and-true, but maybe f*ckstart the parts that obviously don’t work until they’re up and running and a valuable part the night.
WWE’s afraid of it, but there’s a thing called “too good” heat. It’s when you hate an athlete not because they cheat or act like a jerk, but because they’re better than everyone else and they aren’t on your side. It’s why people hated Barry Bonds so much, and one of the reasons Floyd Mayweather is a garbage human but can command $100 PPV fights and make hundreds of millions of dollars from it. They’re just BETTER at stuff than most people. It’s why Cesaro works so well in NXT … he shows up and is clearly a superior athlete, so he’s beloved by a portion of the fans, but also situationally reviled. When he wrestles Zayn people LOVE him, but nobody wants to see him win. They want to see him lose and get his comeuppance, because sometimes a “regular guy” can rise up on a special night and win the game. It’s why we root for the underdog in real sports, and something that could (and often does) very easily translate to pro wrestling. Brock Lesnar’s honestly the only guy doing it well in WWE, and he’s only doing it because he’s a special f*cking snowflake.
Cesaro and Kidd jacking the Ascension with a bunch of crazy moves and winning strong is awesome. Why can’t they do the same thing to The Usos, or whoever? Keep the stuff that works — talented jerks who are great at wrestling — without trying to shoehorn them into sassy, charismatic babyfaces. It doesn’t always work, and the world can only stomach so many Dolph Zigglers.
Best: I Don’t Know Who Decided This Episode Of Raw Should Be Full Of Great Wrestling But I Want To Kiss Them On The Mouth
This is the Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins match we’ve been waiting for for a year. It’s like the second half of 2014 never happened.
What’s great about it is that it cut out the bullshit and got to the core of the feud, and to the gist of what makes pro wrestling work. It wasn’t full of swerves and interference and wacky situations like exploding monitors and ghost lanterns, it was two guys who hate each other for a good reason competing in a match with a point. If Ambrose wins, he gets added to the main event at Payback. Rollins doesn’t want that to happen because he’s already up against two guys out for blood and doesn’t want to add the insane wildcard that hid in his trunk and attacked him with shit for six months. It makes sense, it has consequence in either direction and it features two guys who are great at pro wrestling. See how easy this is?
It works so well it’s got the crowd chanting “holy shit” at a dive Ambrose does in every match. Wrestling isn’t about the moves and the “story” as much as it is about the context, and creating a compelling, salable context is what WWE should be doing every night. It’s what makes NXT and Lucha Underground such good shows, and why WrestleMania succeeds even when it fails; the reality that the idea of wrestling as a thing is more desirable than anything in it. It’s why casual fans go to live shows to see wrestlers (whether they do anything or not), hear entrance themes and hit the chanting cues. It’s why places like Full Sail and The Temple are destinations for wrestling fans whether they know the cards or not, and why independent shows like PWG or Chikara sell out so fast without anything announced. People want to be a part of wrestling. Once you’ve created an atmosphere to get them there, you can better trust your talent to perform the moves and stories or whatever that keep them coming back. It’s a team effort. Everyone should be trying hard, and everything should matter. Whether it’s “just wrestling” or not. Because wrestling is never “just wrestling.” Wrestling is f*cking amazing.
So yeah. An awesome match fought for a reason with a satisfying finish — yes, sometimes rollups make sense and can be as exciting as a 630 splash — that matters and changes at least the immediate future. Everyone seems important, everyone has a role to play and when it’s over, you wish it wasn’t. Give me this Raw forever, and this version of Dean Ambrose for even longer.
Best: SIERRA HOTEL INDIA ECHO LIMA goddamn DELTA
For the first time, all three members of The Shield are involved in a one-fall-to-a-finish match against one another. If you paid attention, they mentioned The Shield an awful lot on commentary. Roman Reigns is sputtering and Dean Ambrose is always on the cusp of exploding, but never does. What are the chances that Payback ends with The Shield reuniting, going full rudo and triple powerbombing Randy Orton to give Rollins the pin? What are the chances that The Authority’s been setting this up to screw Orton all along, and that’s why Kane’s been such a weird creeper babyface lately? What if Reigns and Ambrose realized they should’ve sold out, too? WHAT IF MONKEYS FLY OUT OF MY BUTT.
I probably fantasy book Shield reunions more than Nexus reunions, but the timing here is perfect. You rebuild one of the best, coolest and most physically valuable teams in WWE history, you suddenly establish The Authority as a dominant force because they’ve got a killer swat team protecting the champ instead of two tiny baby businessmen and you give any faces that want to step up a real challenge and guaranteed amazing matches without having to resort to handicaps and goofy stips. DO IT. DO IT NOW.
Worst: These Tough Enough Videos
“I can get REALLY REALLY ANGRY, or I can be just pretty much the nicest guy in the world.”
Yeah, but can you buy a Captain America shirt that doesn’t show your nipples?
Also, pretty sure “I describe myself as nice but I’m a nerd with rage issues” describes every dude on the Internet. And before you say anything, yes, I know that also describes me, but no, we are nothing alike.
Worst: Fun Lana
In case you’ve bene fast-forwarding through the shows and haven’t been paying attention, Lana’s getting that Damien Mizdow heat. Rusev shows up and gets booed, then she shows up and gets cheered. It doesn’t make a lot of sense from a character standpoint, because with a few exceptions she’s the one who has been verbally running down the United States for a year and saying how much she hates weak, pathetic Americans. Rusev’s anger is usually in response to someone American picking a fight with him. See Jack Swagger, Mark Henry, Big Show and whoever else. Lana’s always been the primary aggressor. So SHE shouldn’t be suddenly into having fun with Americans, and Americans shouldn’t suddenly want to see and hear her talk. I mean, I know she’s Lana and is super gorgeous and good at what she does so I get why you shoot want her around, but that’s not really a thing the character’s earned.
It’s especially dumb when Rusev is wrestling Fandango, and it’s FANDANGO who is bringing out the fun in Lana. Is pointing at the sky worth selling out Putin? Come on, Lana, get your shit together.
Best: Fun Lana
Best/Worst: A Bag Of Spiders
Last week’s episode featured a surprisingly good R-Truth vs. Stardust match where they realized they didn’t have a lot of time, so they went out and busted their asses for a few minutes and put together something that was quick, but made sense. This week, Stardust shows up with a planetarium gift bag full of plastic spiders that terrify Truth, cause him to get rolled up and then make him high-step it out of the arena in fear. It’s … not last week.
And here’s the thing, it’s objectively terrible, right? But I can’t find it in me to give a solid Worst to a sparkly, Mr. Sinister-cosplaying celestial cat defeating a 43-year old brain-damaged rapper with a grab bag of prank toys. Motherf*cker should’ve put on a pair of X-Ray Specs and bashed Truth over the head with a bowl of sea monkeys.
Best: I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE, THE WICKEDLY TALENTED ADELE NAZEEM
Dude, tell me I’m not the only one who got worried halfway through Bret Hart’s speech that he’d forgotten Sami Zayn’s name and was stalling for time until Cena should help him remember. I thought best case scenario he’d do one of those “Vince introducing Aretha Franklin” points at the entrance and yell “THIS GUYYYYY.”
I do enjoy that The Hitman looks a little more like Large Marge every time we see him.
Best: I CAN SPEAK FRANCH!
As you might imagine, one of my favorite moments of the show was Heath Slater interrupting our “GASSSSP SAMI ZAYN” anticipation by yelling about Canada and bragging about how he speaks French. He starts in with a weirdly-emphasized promo about how he’s always getting attacked from out of noooo wheEEERRE and, with perfect timing, Bret bonks him in the head with a microphone. Bret continues his introduction, and Slater quietly rolls out of the ring, runs to the back and comes back out in his Sami Zayn persona.
That almost makes sense, doesn’t it? They should reveal that they’re twin brothers separated at birth and do a Goofus and Gallant thing with them. Maybe Zayn can be Goofus for dislocating his arm trying to pump up the crowd from the steps.
Best: This Is Happening In Real Life
Okay, all joking aside, oh my God you guys.
If you want a perfect WWE main roster debut for an NXT guy, this is it. It’s not going to get better than this. NXT’s top star and most affectionately-connected babyface steps into the ring with arguably WWE’s biggest star ever, an unstoppable monster that has pretended to be the ultimate underdog for a decade despite being a dynastic company man and corporate champion. It’s John Cena in real life vs. how he seems himself in his head.
Sami’s shoulder injury only adds to the story of the match, and if it turns out to be a work to get us emotionally invested, it’s a masterstroke. Sami is SO UNBELIEVABLY OUTMATCHED. It’s like Kevin Owens trying to step in the ring with Brock Lesnar. It’s fun from a fantasy booking perspective, but in reality you’re feeding a housecat to a mountain lion. Someone told me the plan was to bring up Sami and have him take the US title from Cena, and it felt like the most ridiculous thing in the world. Brock can’t beat Cena strong twice in a row. Sami Zayn takes pinfall losses to Titus O’Neil. It’s boring-ass apples to niche-ass oranges. The power of wrestling is that I heard this and understand how I feel, but then Sami’s shoulder’s dead and he’s fighting through it to hit a picture-perfect Blue Thunder Bomb and my heart is going CRAZY because I might just be totally f*cking wrong. More than wrestling, that’s the power of Sami Zayn. It’s why he can legitimately injure his shoulder and have a bunch of people say, “oh, he’s just selling.” Because he’s so good at what he does, you can never know. If Sin Cara gets hurt, you know it. Sin Cara never gets hurt in a way that feels real, he either bumps or he’s in the hospital. Zayn lives in that artistic pro graps wonderland where he’s bumping and making you THINK he’s in the hospital, and shaking you up so much you forget which one seems right. He’s doing his job, you could say, in a way few are able to do anymore.
And goddamn, Cena was an ace here. Cena handled the injury and told the story of a man who wants to be noble and decent and put over the young talent, but also (rightfully) thinks he’s better than them. He just shrugs before he does moves and goes through the motions because he thinks it’s gonna be an easy win, then gets HEATED and in the referee’s face when the Attitude Adjustment doesn’t finish things. It’s not a “heel” move, necessarily, it’s a real one … he’s entitled to a certain degree because he’s John Cena, and he’s used to his shit ending matches against guys like this. The hook is that Cena doesn’t know what kind of a guy Sami Zayn really is, and he’s learning it as they go.
Zayn showed the world that he could go with wrestling’s biggest star on wrestling’s most popular show and make it matter. He powered through an injury, kayfabe or not, and both stories have merit. If it’s the story of the match, he told it flawlessly. If it’s a legit injury (which we have to believe it is, because who sells an injury before the match on the steps?), he realized the importance of the moment, gathered up all his guts and KILLED IT. That’s the grit and fire and determination and brass-ring-grabbing you keep hearing about. That’s Sami Zayn, and I’m glad we have at least one of him.
Let’s Ask The WWE Universe What They Thought Of Sami Zayn’s Debut
“I am only interested in one thing so I thought this was that!” — children
(h/t to reader ‘signor’)
Best: The New Day Is Still Celebrating
Things that are great:
1. The New Day backstage celebrating and yelling “WE DID IT, KANE, WE TOLD YOU!” at him as he walks by.
2. The callback later in the show, where the Bella Twins are wandering around backstage and find Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods lifting up Big E by the thighs FOR THE BENEFIT OF NO ONE BUT THEMSELVES.
3. Renee Young’s interactions with The New Day, which are the most Liz Lemon things of all time.
4. The Backstage Fallout followup, with New Day shuffling the belts around, Big E calling Renee “Nay Nay” in an increasingly funny voice and them making her do ridiculous pronunciations of their team name. I want to buy their t-shirt right now. Failing that, I want to invest in some fluorescent green underpants and scarves.
Best: Real Life Making Things Make Sense And Matter
One of the only disappointing aspects of this Raw is that the Divas got almost nothing. The good news is that what happened actually made sense for once, even if the alignments don’t.
The Bella Twins have been shifty heels for most of the year, but Paige is “out with injury” on the set of a Christmas movie and AJ Lee skipped off to Sovngarde, so now they’re faces. Naomi’s a heel because she wants to get noticed, and the way to do that in WWE speak is to be arrogant and flashy. So now she wears light-up shoes and we boo her, mostly because of the shoes. Naomi should probably be the face and The Bellas should probably be the heels, but to WWE, women are one indistinguishable pile of boobs and misdirected anger and jealousy, so whatever. It is what it is. It should change, but we got about 40 seconds of women on the show, so now’s not the place to type the paragraph.
But still, WWE took a baby-step to the side and took a second to actually set up some reasoning behind the Naomi/Bellas beef beyond what we’ve already seen, and it helps. Naomi’s now enlisting the help of Tamina Snuka, her cousin through marriage, who is surprisingly NOT fired and still a member of the active roster. Naomi is tired of a pair of entitled siblings sitting at the top of the Divas division, so she’s bringing in her own family to even the odds. It’s a story, and it doesn’t involve stolen clothes or what the Divas think about boys, so that’s a solid step in the right direction.
Here’s to hoping Tamina spent that however-long-she-was-gone down at the Performance Center glued to Sara Del Rey’s hip, because if she didn’t, the matches aren’t going to Give Anybody A Chance. The first time she busts out the Bad Splash we’re gonna turn on her again. Your feet should never leave the ground again, Tamina. Pretend you’re Big John Studd with Angelus Layne’s haircut.
Best: King Gimmicks, Always
To quote a wise woman, there’s nothing better than when a person wins a King or Queen of whatever and they instantly take on the delusion that they’re an actual monarch. It’s the most pro wrestling thing ever. You can’t win Prom King and start decreeing laws. You don’t put on a crown and cape every day and bring a scepter to class. Nobody’s gonna volunteer to carry you around in a Litter.
But still, delusional king gimmicks are the best, and I’m happy they’re back. I loved the Macho King, I loved King Booker and I loved weird forest King Sheamus, when he had horns all of a sudden and looked like a World of Warcraft character. I also loved Cole and JBL going on and on about how much they love King Barrett, and how they’ve never seen anybody run with a king gimmick like this while Booker T’s sitting right there. So good. Booker deserves all the shade he can get. And never forget that his run as king featured the greatest pay-per-view poster in history.
Best/Worst: This Mixed Tag Team Match
That said, I kinda hated the tag match. Maybe it just seemed lackluster after the glory of Rollins/Ambrose and Cena/Zayn. Maybe it was the fact that Ziggler vs. Sheamus is cold boogers on a paper plate, or maybe Jean Jacket Ziggler tanked it with that embarrassing pre-match interview. It didn’t really pick up until Barrett and Neville were in the ring, but by that time it was practically over.
I think that’s what I disliked about it most … it felt like a mixed tag team match. You know, one of those terrible matches where it’s a guy and a girl against a guy and a girl, and the guys can only fight the guys and the women can only fight the women? Where tags can’t build any drama because everyone has to tag in and out at the same time, and it defeats the point of teamwork and destroys the rhythm of a successful tag match? Yeah, this just felt like Ziggler wrestling Sheamus and Neville wrestling Barrett, and never like Ziggler and Neville wrestling Sheamus and Barrett. You could’ve subbed in Natalya at any point and it wouldn’t have changed.
I’m probably not over the month-long build of Which Guy Will Put His Face In The Other’s Ass, or the fact that Ziggler’s like, “heh, I got ONE UP on you!” like 8 days after having a raw-chicken-colored buttcheek dragged across his nose and mouth.
Best: Jamie Noble
At least 10 minutes of every Raw should be dedicated to Jamie Noble standing on a table and saying things. He announces the Not Obvious At All Authority Swerve, with him as the guest announcer, Kane as the guest ringside enforcer, Seth Rollins as guest commentator and Joey Mercury as “bell keeper.” BELL KEEPER. He keeps the bell.
I’m serious, if I was put in charge of WWE Network the first thing I’d do is create an ‘Agents Of SHIELD’-style companion show for these guys. Tell me you wouldn’t watch a sitcom about a tired, angry, under-appreciated Jamie Noble going home after Raw and having hilarious family trouble with his wife and kids. Yes, Nidia would be his wife. Joey Mercury could be his next door neighbor. Basically the Flintstones, but with small businessmen.
Worst: Haha Why Are Roman And Randy Even Wrestling, Come On
I have no idea why Roman Reigns and Randy Orton tried to have a match after this trap was sprung, because it just ended in The Authority deciding when the match was over and beating everybody up. Like, you knew that was going to happen when they started giving themselves Special Guest roles, right? Why didn’t Roman just run and jump over the ropes and Superman Punch Noble off the table? I would’ve DIED for that. As it stands, they’re just being dumb WWE babyfaces, which doesn’t even make sense for them because neither of their characters is the admirable “fight the good fight” type. It’s not Cena in here. There’s nothing gutsy “for the love of the game” or whatever to accomplish, you’re just weakening each other for the beatdown.
That said, I did like Dean Ambrose getting to stand tall and look like a star again. Crowds have almost stopped chanting WE WANT WHOEVER at the ends of beatdowns because they know WWE’s already decided a bunch of shit without them. We should at least be creating the illusion that our cries will be heard by the people in the back, and if we desperately need Goldberg to run out and stop this nWo invasion, he’ll maybe hear his name and come running out. +1 to Ambrose for not only being the last man standing, but for being smart enough to just kick Randy Orton in the stomach and kill him before he got Snake Crazy in the other direction.
Seriously though, this was the best Raw of the year so far, and I hope somebody was paying attention. Great wrestling spread out over the runtime of the show, characters that don’t normally get a lot of TV time being heard, the beloved developmental program getting a rub and time to shine, and not too much assy comedy. Not a lot of talking at all. I want this, okay? Everybody likes this. I’m not a smark for wanting the show to be good, I’m a smark because the shows have been good, and I’m sticking around until they are again.
Best: Top 10 Comments Of The Night
Wait, did someone miss a cue? It’s 10 after and the talking stopped
The referee should count the pinfalls to the beat of “New Day Sucks”
Hunter: “Kane, what is a Vengenously Vigintisextuple Match and why is Seth defending the title in it?”
Kane: “Uh…its best for business?”
Cena sells submissions like he’s going down a water slide
Never thought I’d see this. It’s the Generic Pro Wrestler! And he’s facing Sami Zayn!
No Sami! Never DDT Cena on the floor when you’re from NXT!
“Y’see, that’s how you do that”
– Zayn to Cena after the Blue Thunder Bomb
Naomi should run in and do that to the Bellas every time they’re coming out for commentary. Best. Face. Ever.
Mr. Royal Rumble, TheCensoredMSol
Timeline of the match:
2:46 Suplex to Ziggler
5:45 Pin attempt
8:19 Bodyslam to Barrett
17:65 Barrett orders Neville to begin taxing Ziggler
17:76 Ziggler tells Neville to get out of his corner
18:48 Barrett forces Shamus off his spot on the apron
18:55 Sheamus emigrates to Ziggler’s corner
20:15 Barrett gives birth to a baby girl
If you play this Raw backwards, it says “Vince is dead.”
Thanks, everybody. See you next week.