The Total Nonstop Deletion Trailer Is Finally Here

In case you can’t tell, we’re pretty excited about next week’s special two-hour Broken Hardys holiday spectacular, Total Nonstop Deletion. Hyperbole is flying around, but we’re confident it will be able to live up to the hype and we’ll all be able to have a Merry Christmas (or whatever).

Well, TNA has finally released the trailer for this bad boy, and although it’s only a scant 40 seconds long, it packs a whole lot of crazeballs into those 40 seconds. Here’s a list of the things that we see and think we see in this trailer:

– It looks like everyone might enter the — Arena? Battlefield? Shack? — through the mouth of a giant cartoon Broken Matt Hardy, which seems both textually and metatextually appropriate
– Dirtbikes will be involved
– Porch dives
– Maxel getting in the ring
– Fireworks
– Trevor Lee getting hit with a shovel
– Vanguard 1 loaded with fireworks
– Someone (possibly Abyss) gets hit by a train
– Tag Team Apocalypto may or may not take place on a dirt volcano

If you need a little extra context (not that it would help), you can watch the Hardys throwing down the Tag Team Apocalypto gauntlet on Impact Wrestling and a few teams taking him up on the offer:

Yes, we’re very sad that the Obsolete 3-Count will not be part of the match. But … maybe they will? All I know is that if the Rock N’ Roll Express isn’t part of this, everyone involved should be ashamed.