Previously on Total Bellas: JJ continued his reign of terror as the jerkiest jerk who ever jerked, Daniel Bryan wanted to name his daughter “Branch,” Brie didn’t know what a landfill was called, and Bryan proved he’s the best at being better than everyone else by never making a peep during man contractions. Surely JJ can’t keep being an enormous b-hole for a third straight week!
(Spoiler: he can.)
And now, the five most ridiculous, bizarre, and baffling moments of season two, episode three of Total Bellas.
John Cena overdresses for Brie and Bryan’s house
After six seasons of Total Divas and over a season of Total Bellas, John Cena visits Brie and Bryan’s house in Arizona for the very first time. No, really, he’s never been there before. The closest he’s ever come was that visit to Bryan’s parents’ cabin for that fabled wood-chopping episode back in Divas season one.
Brie and Bryan understandably have anxiety about Cena’s visit, because their house is less than a third the size of Cena’s GUEST house, and they feel like he might judge their spartan lifestyle. Their fears might be unfounded, because all they have to go on is seven seasons-plus of Cena and Nikki judging everything about their lifestyle.
Cena shows up for the visit hilariously overdressed in one of his clown suits, but to his credit, he takes a stroll through the muddy garden in very expensive shoes. Cena and Bryan shooting the breeze in the back yard in drastically different attire is maybe the most human both have ever been.
Lloyd Peacock, the Grapplin’ Gardener
While Cena and Bryan are in the back yard, Bryan pitches his idea of a YouTube gardening show, which he thinks there is a great market for. Then he shows off his original character for the webseries, Lloyd Peacock, the Grapplin’ Gardener, a wrestler who gardens and then puts his plant in an armbar.
Stop drilling, Bryan, you’ve hit oil.