Previously, on Total Bellas: JJ and Lola renewed their wedding vows, Nikki got terrible news about her future as a professional wrestler, and Brie and Bryan decided against a home birth. Now it’s the season finale, and the only good part about that is Total Divas season seven starts next week.
And now, the most outrageous moments from season two, episode eight of Total Bellas.
The Person With The “I [Heart] Natalya” Sign
Look, I know WrestleMania attracts every type of wrestling fan literally in the entire world, but it cracks me up no end that Total Bellas included an insert shot of someone with a pro-Nattie sign during the extremely brief footage of the Smackdown women’s match at Mania. Good for them, seriously. The first WrestleMania I went to, I was like six rows from the last row of the upper deck, and someone in the very last row had a Finlay sign that they held up exclusively upside down. Always follow your bliss, everyone. Always.
John Cena’s Mother Had Never Seen Him Wrestle Live Before WrestleMania 33
Okay, sure, she’ll do Hefty bag commercials with the guy, but she won’t go watch him wrestle? SOME MOM. Mama Cena was in the front row for Cena and Nikki’s tag match, and if Nikki hadn’t figured out he was popping the question at that point, I don’t even know what to tell her.
The Proposal Tho
The meat and potatoes of this season finale was always going to be Cena’s proposal, which we’ve spent eight full seasons of television building up to. The producers did an exceptional job of cutting his proposal together for maximum drama and emotion, and it worked much better in this format than when it actually happened, for real, life.
Welcome, Birdie
The other kinda-major thing that happened in this episode — I guessssss — was the birth of Birdie Danielson. But Brie didn’t wrap up her pregnancy without first mixing up the expressions “wave the white flag” and “throw in the towel.” It’s not an all-time Bella goofer, but I’ll allow it.
The Danielsons end up having to induce labor, and it still ends up being a painful 16 hours or so. And perhaps a bit shockingly, the producers really GO FOR IT here, showing Nikki and Bryan assisting with the attempted natural pregnancy, filming EVERYTHING and just blurring out the full-on shots of vagina. It’s super intense and real, and is only heightened when the decision has to be made to perform a C-section. Annnnnd they show ALL of the C-section, including the baby being PULLED OUT OF BRIE. I DIDN’T EXPECT THAT, PROBABLY.
This episode was heavy on actual emotion and light on dumb goofs, and I’m totally fine with that. But just in case you yearn for the goofs …
The Memorial ‘JJ Is A Putz’ Heading
JJ didn’t do anything particularly obnoxious in this week’s episode, probably because there wasn’t really any time for him to be an ass. So instead, please enjoy this bonus clip from last week’s episode, where his family tells him that his ideas are bad and that he should feel bad. We’ll miss poking fun at you until this show returns, JJ. Maybe you’ll pop up on the other show and do something dumb there.
With the birth of a child and the proposal of John Cena, it’s going to be interesting to see what we actually build up to from here on out with this television franchise. But Divas starts up again next week, so I’m going to enjoy the ride.
