The Most Outrageous ‘Total Divas’ Moments Of The Week

Contributing Writer
01.18.18 16 Comments

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Previously, on Total Divas: Natalya continued to be terrible at everything and to everyone, but won the Smackdown Women’s Championship at SummerSlam. Nia Jax made us very thankful that she’s here, and also possibly hooked up with a porn star accidentally.

Now let’s get on to the strangest and most sublime moments from season 7, episode 10 of Total Divas!

Get To Know Big Cassmella

I’m afraid I have some bad news. It looks like any significant time we spend with Carmella and Big Cass on this show will feature at least one instance of cringe-inducing freestyle rap. I’m sorry we all had to find out this way. Or any way, really.

The episode opens up with Carmella talking about how Big Cass has started his singles push, and the sky is the limit. That’s when Cass tears his knee to smithereens! Well, at least it happened right when they bought a new house together, and have to move in. That’s fun! We get to know Cass and Carmella and their home life a lot more, and see their nice big new house in Tampa.

Later, Cass invites Carmella’s dad and sister over, and as Cass and Carmella’s dad spend time in a separate room, Carmella’s sister gets it into her head that Cass is asking for their dad’s permission to marry her. What is actually happening is that Carmella’s dad is suggesting he can be Cass’ new manager. Once a worker, always a worker.

Being Champion Nattie Is Even Harder Than Being Regular Nattie

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Things are rough for Nattie since she became Smackdown Women’s Champion. Rough, I tells ya! She’s paranoid she could lose it at any time, and is concerned she’s not doing well enough, and feels extra pressure that she’s representing the whole division now. … Even though she has been begging for the title and always acts as though she’s representing the whole division.

She’s also feeling the familial legacy, and gets her dad’s old Hart Foundation jacket out of storage. She’s made herself a jacket to match, now that she’s also a champion. They’re doing a good job this season of focusing on her dad as an important part of WWE history, rather than just her uncle Bret. She did some romping with her dad, interspersed with ordering her dad around and/or getting frustrated with him, and/or him spilling acai on his shirt. But at least we got a long-lost TJ reaction shot out of it!

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Missed you, TJ reaction shots.

“I’m On Fricking Dancing With The Stars

After being unable to participate the first time Dancing With the Stars came calling, Nikki gets a phone call while the Bellas and Bryan are doing a press appearance, and … she’s in! They’re in the midst of a media blitz for Birdiebee and their wine, and Nikki has to break the news to Brie that she unfortunately just got booked up for the next three months. Whoops!

Brie gets VERY offended that Nikki would just bail on all their business ventures like that, but Bryan talks some sense into her.

As it turns out, Dancing With the Stars can be used to buy many peanuts!

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