The Most Outrageous ‘Total Divas’ Moments Of The Week

Contributing Writer
01.25.18 6 Comments

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Previously, on Total Divas: Nattie’s life got harder via champion things, Lana and Rusev journeyed to Bulgaria for Lana to become a professional farmer, and Nikki got a job on television. No; another one.

This is part one of a two-part season finale, so buckle up as big things start happening. Well, one big thing, and a nude Rusev.

Road Trippin’

Brie and Bryan are planning on making a move to Washington state, and they want to take a trip up there, but Bryan has been diagnosed with vertigo. (Various cast members will offer some variation of “Bryan has vertigo” roughly four dozen times during this episode.) Flying is out of the question, but Natalya (of course Natalya) has a great idea: road trip it! With Natalya’s two weird friends! More on them later! As it turns out, this journey in a beat-up old RV with two maniacs doesn’t turn out exactly how the Danielsons hope.

Stupid Sexy Rusev

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Our amazing Lana and Rusev journey this week begins with Lana wearing a very small and loose camisole as she gets ready to head to the store, and Rusev is very upset at the amount of under- and side- and every-boob she’s about to show in public. She offers to put some tape on for the trip, and spills out as she does so, but Rusev is once again being a big prude about Lana both having it and flaunting it.

So Rusev devises a cunning, foolproof plan to passive-aggressively get back at her. It begins at phase one: mowing their front lawn in his Speedos.

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The best part of this is Rusev saying hello to their neighbor, and their blurred-out neighbor being audibly uncomfortable at seeing so much Rusev. (Which, incidentally, is about the same amount of Rusev we normally see.) The motivations here are a bit suspect, as Rusev has established over many episodes that he enjoys wearing skimpy bathing suits and making others uncomfortable as much as, if not more than Lana. But there is a story to be told here about how Rusev is sticking it to Lana, so press on we must.

Finally, in the greatest callback in the history of the show, Rusev makes good on his throwaway threat to cook naked for his guests by NUDE GRILLING in his back yard.

Thank you, Rusev. Thank you, Total Divas, for this gift. Even though this is almost certainly “What’s My Age Again”-style nude underwear or modesty-pouch related producer nonsense, it’s still a tremendous visual with the blurs and Lana’s reactions.

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Bless you all. Bless us all, everyone.

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