Previously, on Total Divas: Rusev hung out with Alexa Bliss’ baby pig, and all of us died of extreme joy and happiness. Also, Brie Bella began her journey back to a WWE ring, and Jim Neidhart was a terrible tenant. Also also, everyone still kind of generally thinks Lana is the pits. This becomes important later.
And now, the most exceptional, sublime moments from the mid-season finale of Total Divas.
An Engagement Party In Cabo
During a photo shoot for BirdieBee, Brie lets Nikki in on the plan that she’s throwing her an engagement party in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. This is the scene-setting for the entirety of this episode, which gets out of control extremely quickly. The Divas are going to _____! is a tried and true Total Divas trope, but this one might go down as being the most infamous. Everyone but Nia Jax heads down to Cabo in various groups, which brings us to our next point of order.
Is An Engagement Party Without Nia Jax Even A Party At All?
I have no idea why Jax couldn’t make this trip, so Alexa is rolling solo, but gets some quality bonding time with Nikki, as they’re the first two to arrive in Cabo. It goes without saying that we are massive, MASSIVE fans of real-life besties Nia and Alexa, but it’s also nice to see how Alexa rolls with situations without her looking-out-for-Lexi’s-best-interests muscle around.
Also, I can’t help but wonder how differently some of the ensuing hijinks would have been affected HAD Nia been around to witness them and/or intervene.
She Thinks She’s Quentin Tarantino
Before the Smackdown crew of Carmella, Naomi, Lana and Nattie get down to Cabo, they have to wrestle on Smackdown. While Nattie and Carmella are getting their makeup did, Nattie starts ranting about Lana, once again calling back the screaming argument Lana had with everyone in Florida about how they should work harder to get better at promos. “She thinks she’s Quentin Tarantino,” says Nattie to Carmella, and it legit took me 30 seconds to understand what the hell she meant by that. At first I thought it was because of all the cussing Lana did. Then I thought maybe Lana was secretly super into feet. It finally dawned on me that Nattie was mocking Lana insisting she’s super good at words/talking/writing, and picked QT as the example that came to her mind as an example of that. Incredible.
While Nattie is shit-talking, Lana overhears and strolls up to Nattie, who doesn’t know she’s there. Nattie’s makeup lady cringes for a while before Nattie finally looks at who’s standing next to her AS SHE SAYS “Lana is just so much drama — ” and looks suitably shocked before giving her an “o hai.”
Just as a word of warning: this episode marks the turning point where Nattie becomes the greatest villain in television history. And yes, I listened to Byron Saxton on Smackdown Live this week.