We’re back with another Vintage B and Dub. I’m sorry it’s taken so long but this has been without a doubt one of the most insane/sad/happy/depressing/I don’t know last six weeks of my life. Sorry. I’ll do better.
As always, catch me on the Tweeters @DaviddTSS and wherever tapes are sold. Anyway, on to one of the worst pay-per-views I’ve ever seen.
Worst: Measuring Eric Bischoff’s Wiener
Eric Bischoff and Vince McMahon are egomaniacs. However, Vince McMahon is a much smarter egomaniac than Eric Bischoff could ever be. When Vince wants to whip his wiener out and shows it to the world, we get something like the new ECW or a botched Invasion angle – disasters that still have some morsel of benefit we can latch on to no matter how minute.
When Eric Bichoff wants to pull out the tape measure, we get shitty pay-per-views in front of bored biker guys and an opening montage to a crappy pay-per-view that. takes. forever. All just to show how much money he has and how cool his cutting edge show is. The more I look back at the NWO, the more I see a bunch of White guys (and Virgil) trying their hardest to imitate late-90s gangster rap and looking really corny doing it. I know Hulk Hogan keeps his skin at a nice mahogany complexion, but he looks like an idiot trying to throw up the “westside.” YOU GUYS AREN’T EVEN FROM THE WESTSIDE OF ANYWHERE.
Also, look at how many people are on the NWO now. Just last month, there were maybe six guys in the group but now there are enough guys to hang off of three garbage trucks. Why garbage trucks? Why not.
This whole pay-per-view is essentially Eric Bischoff jerking off for three hours. This is going to be great, guys.
Best: The Set Is Pretty Sweet Though
I did, though, dig the set. It had a very post-apocalyptic, Lost Boys type of feel that fit perfectly with what the NWO was going with. There’s the bikes and the cars and the entire thing there. It really felt like a pay-per-view that took place in a darker place. Kudos.
Worst: Nick Patrick Is Here, Naturally
I’m going to consolidate all of my Nick Patrick rage from this show into one Worst because I, unlike WCW, know that nobody wants Nick Patrick storylines in their faces all day. Basically, Nick Patrick is refereeing most of the matches here and whenever they can’t figure out an ending, they just make him the story. The premise of the pay-per-view is “WCW guys have no chance because this is an NWO pay-per-view.” I get it. But how about setting up different obstacles each match? Instead, we get the same screwy referee finish for three hours. Any time a WCW guy is in line for a pin, Nick Patrick stops and the announcers go crazy. So, why even have the matches? And why is Nick Patrick even cheating for a match between Scotty Riggs and Buff Bagwell? What happens if an NWO guy wins? There isn’t even a stipulation, so what’s the point? Shouldn’t it be about beating the hell out of your opponent? So if P.K. Wallstreet gets his ass handed to him and his leg broken against Jeff Jarrett and Nick Patrick cheats so Wallstreet can get a roll up win, then who really came out of the match better?