Previously on the Best and Worst of WCW Monday Nitro: Bret Hart joined the nWo, and by “joined the nWo,” of course, I mean the nWo said he joined them and everyone believed them, even though Bret wasn’t there and legally can’t appear on the show yet. Also, Sting got his ass kicked.
Click here to watch this week’s episode on WWE Network. You can catch up with all the previous episodes of WCW Monday Nitro on the Best and Worst of Nitro tag page. Follow along with the competition here.
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And now, the best and worst of WCW Monday Nitro, originally aired on November 17, 1997.
Before We Begin, A Lesson About Cause And Effect
For the longest time, the only thing that’s kept the New World Order from taking over WCW and Monday Nitro in toto was the existence of Sting, a brand-loyal face-painted California type they turned into a silent, gothic avenger of justice by making everyone think he’d turned evil when he hadn’t. The nWo doesn’t sell anything, isn’t afraid of anyone and doesn’t give half of a ’90s shit about rules or authority … but, if Sting showed up, it meant their ass. He’d show up to save the day and take on 15 of them at once, and nothing Hollywood Hogan could do could stop him. Hogan would put his hands up and beg for his life, and run and cower while Buff Bagwell or Konnan or whoever took the ass-kicking for him. For the last year and a half, that’s been the dynamic. The payoff was, unless you are absolutely insane, Sting finally getting Hogan one-on-one at Starrcade, beating the orange off of him and winning the WCW World Heavyweight Championship.
After over a year of build-up, WCW finally gave us a contract signing at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas during the commercials of a TNT original action movie. With the payoff match set and everyone looking forward to it, what was the next logical step? Well, if you’re Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff, it was to out Sting as a normal guy who was just pretending to be upset and actually wanted to make movies, and also to knock him out by punching him once.
Now that Sting’s gotten his ass kicked, he’s just like everyone else. And what THAT means is that the nWo officially has no checks and balances and has nothing to fear, so they can pretty much do whatever they want, and not a single person on the WCW roster has the momentum or gravity to stop them. Not even for a second. So what that means is …
Worst: This Week’s Nitro Is The New World Order Beating Up Everybody And Nobody Stepping Up To Stop Them
Everybody. And seriously, the entire episode.
For example, Ray Traylor shows up to cut a promo about how he doesn’t want anybody’s sympathy, and how his quest to dissemble the nWo comes from him having turned his back on the wrong organization and not liking the man he’d become. The response to this is, of course, the New World Order immediately blindsiding him, kicking his ass 10-on-1 and tagging him again. Nobody from WCW shows up to help.
Later, WCW Tag Team Champions The Steiner Brothers are walking to the ring for a match. They never get there, though, because the New World Order immediately blindsides them, kicking their asses 10-on-1 and tagging them. Also, Scott Hall and Kevin Nash have their own copies of the tag titles now because the Steiners “didn’t beat the Outsiders,” they beat Hall and Syxx, so they still consider themselves the champs.
Nobody from WCW shows up to help. Again.
Eric Bischoff wanders out and taunts the one guy who’s actually been out here every week trying to stand up to these guys, Larry Zbyszko, and slaps him in the back of the head. When Larry gives chase, guess what happens? The New World Order immediately blindsides him, kicks his ass 10-on-1 and lets Bischoff karate kick him and leave him lying. Tony Schiavone’s on the mic screaming about how somebody needs to come out here and help him, but nobody does.
Wait, I take that back. This fan jumps the rail and tries to bulldog Bischoff:
Yes, folks, welcome to WCW, where it’s more likely that a drunk fan will stand up for the organization than its top stars.
If you’re wondering what the top stars are doing, don’t worry, they’re getting their asses kicked, too.
Curt Hennig defends the United States Championship against Lex Luger, and if you’ve been following any of these Hennig matches since he turned on the Horsemen, you know the finish: Hennig retains by hitting Luger with the belt. The Giant has to come out and give loving pats to Luger to keep him from bursting into tears in the middle of the ring (pictured).
BUT DON’T WORRY BECAUSE THE GIANT ALSO GETS HIS ASS KICKED FOR TRYING TO WIN A MATCH WITH SCOTT HALL. I AM TYPING THIS IN CAPITAL LETTERS BECAUSE I HAVE SERIOUSLY JUST PRESENTED YOU WITH FIVE SEPARATE INSTANCES OF THE NWO CAUSING DISQUALIFICATIONS AND BEATING EVERYONE DOWN IN THIS ONE EPISODE OF NITRO.
I think the idea is that they’re supposed to be building to World War 3, the big 60-man battle royal, by saying … that the nWo is way better than everyone, and WCW’s full of nothing but jobbers and idiots? That’s kinda driven home by the end of the episode, which features the tried-and-true WWE pre-battle royal booking of Everybody Fights.
It’s played like it’s supposed to be a big moment of WCW coming together to finally fight these guys, but it’s like, The Public Enemy and Alex Wright and The Barbarian. Everyone who matters in WCW’s already gotten beaten down, so it’s just Diamond Dallas Page out here like, COME ON, BOBBY BLAZE, NOW’S THE CHANCE TO STRIKE.
You know what the best part is? We haven’t even mentioned the biggest nWo beatdown of the week, which happened to an entire wrestling organization.
Best: The WWF Gets Rick-Rolled
Is that then-current D-Generation X member Rick Rude Why is HE here??
If this is anyone but the TV Guide Cheers and Jeers, you’re stealing my bit!
So this is the famous Monday Night Wars night in which wrestling legend Rick Rude appeared on both a live episode of Monday Nitro and a taped episode of Raw on the same night. Why? Via Bischoff on Wrestling:
“I was at home. I wasn’t watching the PPV. The Montreal PPV. I had no idea what was really going on. One of the first phone calls that I got, I remember specifically being on my couch in Atlanta with my kids watching television, the phone rang and I picked it up and it was Rick Rude. Rick Rude, from what I remember, don’t quote me verbatim, but Rick basically was in the room when he saw the incident go down with Bret. He described to me how Bret knocked out Vince McMahon. Rick was so pissed off over the whole Montreal Screwjob incident that he picked up the phone and basically said, ‘I’ll be there tomorrow morning if you want to use me.’ That’s how upset he was. Yeah, it was clearly motivated by what Rick saw go down in Montreal.“
Raw had a live show the night after Survivor Series but taped the next week’s show at the same time, meaning Rude could be on a taped episode with a full beard and pop up on the live Nitro with just a mustache. Which honestly is the only look Ravishing Rick Rude should ever have.
Much like Madusa and sadly Bret Hart himself, Rude’s appearance in the company ended up meaning a lot more than anything he’d do there. He stuck around to mostly manage Curt Hennig, but both of them leave TV due to injury — Rude thought he had testicular cancer but it turned out to be a spermatocele, which is still pretty rough — and despite rumors that he was training for a comeback, he left the company in March of ’99. In April of ’99, only a month later, he overdosed on mixed medication and died of heart failure.
Still, this is one of the defining shots of the Monday Night Wars and proved that oh, what a difference a day makes.
Worst: When Bret Hart’s Not On Screen, All WCW Wrestlers Should Be Asking, ‘Hey, Where’s Bret Hart?’
Throughout the show, we get clips from WCW stars talking about how Bret Hart could’ve have possibly joined the nWo. I guess none of them had his phone number and could, like, ask him.
Yeah Chris, but sometimes really talented Canadians end up doing things you can’t believe.
My favorite of these is from Lex Luger, who took time out from doing hoodrat shit with his friends to show up looking like an extra in a House of Pain video. I love that 99% of the time we saw Luger in black trunks or workout clothes, and then the times we saw him in his actual civilian street wear it was like he punched holes in a picnic blanket and accessorized with whatever he could steal out of a free promotional bin.
Best: Scotty Riggs And Saturn Invent Indie Wrestling
Talk about a match ahead of its time. Crammed into this garbage Nitro is a short TV title grudge match between The Flock’s Perry Saturn and retinal Flock victim Scotty Riggs that if done today on literally any independent wrestling show would have “this is awesome” chants attached to it. In this one little throwaway match we get (1) a brainbuster on the apron, which isn’t something you EVER saw in the ’90s, at least outside of Japan, and (2) Riggs jumping from the top rope to the outside OVER the guardrail onto the entire Flock. Like … is Scotty Riggs secretly amazing, and was just the wrong type of wrestler at the wrong time? Was he workrate Glacier?
People like to make jokes about Billy Gunn being Dolph Ziggler’s dad, but man, look at Scotty Riggs. He’s got Dolph’s gear, he’s basically got Dolph’s physique, he’s even got Dolph’s hair if you take out the hair dye. They move the same. Look at those boots! Those are Dolph Ziggler boots. Plus, they’re both American and both male. And if they try to talk to you, you better not listen.
Saturn wins by rolling through a high cross-body and locking in his submission finisher, which again is the most modern indie wrestler finish you can do. The Flock flocks to beat him down, but Raven steps in and does more messianic bullshit to stop them. Riggs gets carried to the back by emo Frankenstein Van Hammer and whoops, the entirety of 2012 Ring of Honor is born.
Best: In Fact, The Entire Cruiserweight Division Is Trying To Kill Each Other
With the nWo ruining everything else on the show, it’s up to the cruiserweights to save the day.
Up first is Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio Jr., which — shocker — is really good. It’s also the first time in WCW that Jericho works a little rudo, throwing Mysterio around, hitting those multiple powerbombs they gave him as signatures in the old AKI video games and dragging Rey around by the mask like a total rudo. I’m hoping slash guessing that this is the match where WCW was like, “oh, maybe this guy wouldn’t be mayo on white bread if we let him act like a weird asshole all the time.” Because nobody in wrestling history has ever done “weird asshole” as well as Chris Jericho.
The highlight is this move (pictured), a GORILLA PRESS SLAM OFF THE TOP ROPE. Because if you’re a cruiserweight whose used to wrestling from underneath and you’re in the ring with a guy who legitimately almost qualifies as a mini, why not throw him around? The finish is great, too, with Jericho counting a handspring something into two powerbombs, and Rey countering the third into a springboard rana for the flash win.
As you know if you watched wrestling between 1998 and 2009, these two get to do some career-defining work together.
We also get Eddie Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko with Cruiserweight Championship implications, built around a finish in which Dean’s like, “you know what would make a backdrop off the top rope even better? If we jumped when we did it and I let go of you about halfway through.” It’s dangerous enough to believe that it would’ve knocked them both out, and the non-finish leaves things open ended for Eddie to get past a rematch defense against Mysterio at World War 3 and let Malenko challenge him for the belt without any baggage at Starrcade.
Worst: Mongoing Around In Circles
I don’t know what “the German way” is, but if Alex Wright is doing it, I bet it hurts.
While Mongo was never a great mat technician or whatever, you’ve gotta feel bad for him during the end of this year. The Horsemen break up because they got their asses kicked too thoroughly by the nWo, so Mongo goes back to his feud with Jarrett. Jarrett bails, so Mongo ends up fighting Alex Wright. That’s supposed to transition into a feud with Bill Goldberg over a stolen Super Bowl ring, but Goldberg quickly catches on as “the next big thing,” and it’s obvious that he’s too hot a commodity to waste in a story with Mongo. So Mongo … ends up fighting Alex Wright.
Seriously, Wright is the mystery opponent at Halloween Havoc. Then they have this match on Nitro, where Mongo is too distracted by Debra and his missing ring that he won’t stop clubbering Al and loses via OSO EXCESIVO. This is all to set up Mongo vs. Goldberg at World War 3, which — spoiler alert — doesn’t happen, and Mongo gets to squash Wright again. I want to know what guy in WCW creative kept suggesting, “that’s not gonna work, just throw Alex Wright at it.”
Worst: None Of My Nitro Parties Looked Like This
My “Nitro parties” were me and a few of my friend sitting around in the living room eating pizza and watching Nitro. They weren’t like any of the Nitro Party prize pack winners, which were almost exclusively frat parties like this one, which looks like a tanning bed’s sexual night terror. I’m not sure if this is a party for WCW or for getting roofied in the back of a Spencer’s Gifts.
Best: DDP Vs. Twin Magic
Diamond Dallas Page miraculously avoids an nWo beatdown in this episode, probably because he was in a match with Villano IV and everyone assumed he was Psicosis after a rough weekend.
Page vs. Villano is a total squash, of course, but is fun for DDP’s destruction of the “twin magic” cheat. When the Villanos switch places, Page simply spams his finisher until they’re both knocked out. He Diamondly Cuts Villano V, the false Villano, and after he pins him he immediately crotches IV on the top rope and Diamond Cuts him down. The crowd loves it, and part of me will be forever sad that they didn’t bring in all the Villanos at once, add a few more, and have this Flock-like gang of Pink Panther-themed luchadors wandering around in the crowd bothering WCW’s top stars.
I’m also sad that Lucha Underground doesn’t do this idea now, and use special effects so the Villanos can combine their strengths and form one big monstrous Villano Megazord, played by The Ryback. Or like, Walter.
Best: Finally This Week, Here’s The Cat Throwing A Hadoken
Glacier loses a match to Meng, who I guess is being built back up due to WCW’s rumored-at-the-time “toughman division,” which would more or less have been their hardcore division. You’ve gotta love the idea of calling a division the “toughman,” which would suggest that if you aren’t in it, you aren’t tough. But yeah, Meng throat-pinches Glacier into submission, Barb joins in, and Ernest Miller has to make the save using straight-up Street Fighter II specials.
This sets up a fun tag match between the teams at World War 3 and, in a commercial break I hope I’m just forgetting, Glacier getting 40 seconds to destroy a Toyota Celsior with karate kicks.
Next Week:
It’s time for World War 3 1997, which re-imagines the Fallout series as a WCW pay-per-view featuring a 60-man battle royal that pleased Hulk Hogan and literally nobody else. Then it’s on to Starrcade, which is also that, minus the battle royal.
