Who Won The Royal Rumble? Specifically, Who Won The Royal Rumble Thanks To Jiu-Jitsu?

SPOILER WARNING: The winner of last night’s Royal Rumble match is discussed below. If you have not yet watched the Rumble, take all precautions (I AM SORRY, BRANDON, I GOOFED UP BIG TIME). Proceed at your own risk.

“Big” Dave “Batista” Bautista is your 2014 WWE Royal Rumble winner after taking a four-year break from pro wrestling. How ever did he stay in shape to gassily throw dudes over the top rope? Why, by training at the world-renowned Cesar Gracie Jiu-Jitsu academy! Time will tell if Nick Diaz unveiled the secrets behind the Stockton Hey Buddy to Batista, but if he did, nobody will be able to stop Batista’s grappling abilities.