Cleveland, Ohio, has a few things going for it. No. 1? LeBron James, obviously. No. 2? Superman was created here! No. 3? Nearly all of the movie A Christmas Story was filmed in the city. And finally, No. 4: We are home to Mike “The Miz” Mizanin, WWE Superstar and all-around WWE MVP for 2017.
It’s those last two things that WWE has masterfully fused together to create A Christmiz Story, a four-and-a-half-minute short that runs through the high points of the 1983 classic. Stop what you’re doing and press “play,” y’all:
First off: This was filmed inside the actual house from A Christmas Story, which has been fully restored and is open for tours daily (and, brief editorializing here, is totally worth a visit). So major props for shooting this thing on location. Now, to get to the good stuff!
The Miz assumes the role of Ralphie for the majority of this short, starting off with him squeezing into a pink bunny suit that results in his real-life parents George and Barbara recreating dialogue from the film, while Maryse (as Randy) giggles hysterically in the corner.
The only time in the short when the Miz isn’t imitating Ralphie is when he and Maryse re-create the infamous pole-licking scene, clearly filmed during the summer as evidenced by all the green grass and full trees around them, which honestly makes it even better. I’m assuming Miz used a prosthetic to get that effect, but if not … Well, let’s just say Maryse is a lucky lady.
Then there’s the Miz’s version of the Little Orphan Annie decoder ring scene, where it’s revealed that the secret message is not “DRINK MORE OVALTINE,” but in fact, “I AM AWESOME.” Miz’s exasperated “‘I am awesome’? I already knew that!” is a perfect stinger.
Major shoutout to George Mizanin, who took time out of his day running the Mr. Hero empire to appear as the Old Man, scolding Miz for dropping some lugnuts (and then an f-bomb) while he was changing a flat tire. This Roman Burger’s for you, George.
Finally, we get the soap-in-the-mouth scene, where Miz is asked by his mom who he heard that four-letter word from — and he rats out Zack Ryder as the culprit, resulting in Long Island Iced Z getting a beatdown through the telephone. (Maybe it was Mojo Rawley on the other end?)
Kudos to Miz and his family for fully committing to this gimmick, and for continuing to make Cleveland proud. And next time you’re home, Mike, head out to Castle Noel to meet Santa and ride down the department store slide. Ho, ho, hooooooo!