I mean, unless you can convince Brock Lesnar to sit still for several hours while you play Breath of the Wild.
The fine people at Clutch Chairz (with the Attitude Era-style “z”) make the best gaming chairs you can buy. That sounds like a straight-up ad, and yeah, it is, but they’re also officially endorsed by Stone Cold Steve Austin AND Titus O’Neil. If you need a broad spectrum of humanity to vouch for a product, how about the 6-foot-6 Mega Dad Of The Year and an ATV-riding redneck who I guarantee you hasn’t played a video game since Pole Position. Because wrestlers seem to love them so much — they’re the Zubaz pants of furniture, except a lot prettier — they recently launched a line of WWE Superstar chairs, with designs for legends like Stone Cold, The Rock and The Ultimate Warrior, as well as current video game friendly stars like The New Day, Sasha Banks and AJ Styles. And John Cena, of course, because he’s The Seating That Runs The Meeting.
We had a chance to put together and test a few of them, and I can’t say nice enough things. Before I shill them too hard, here’s a quick synopsis of what they are and why they’re so fancy. In case you’re the type who is like, “PAY for a CHAIR?? I’LL JUST SIT ON THIS PILE OF CARDBOARD BOXES.”
At Clutch Chairz your comfort and spinal health are our top concerns. That is why our chairs are designed for maximum comfort and maximum ergonomics. Maximum comfort is achieved through our contoured design and extremely high quality foam that reduces pressure points and promotes good circulation. Maximum ergonomics are achieved with a high density foam headrest and a full size lumbar support, contoured to place your lumbar spine in the perfect position. If you spend hours a day sitting at work or at play, you will benefit from an ergonomically designed chair that provides all day comfort and fosters overall spinal health.
As you can see from the photos, we tested out two of the “Crank Series” chairs — John Cena and Sasha Banks — and one of the WWE Legends “Throttle Series” chairs, which are made for heavier folks. That’s the gorgeous Ultimate Warrior chair that looks like a Trapper Keeper learned how to transform. Aside from the more powerful hydraulics and frame, the T-series chairs offer a few more features, like 4-D armrests instead of 3-D — meaning they can be moved around and positioned pretty much any way you’d like — and a wider seat. According to the website that thing can hold 2000 pounds, so you’ve got some room to grow.
I think the best compliment I can give the chairs is that they get people talking.
I dragged three giant boxes into the UPROXX studio and set to work assembling them by myself, which probably went more smoothly than any furniture construction I’ve ever attempted. I’m a blogger, I’m not good at anything. But as I was putting them together, people would walk through the studio, stop, look at them, and start asking me questions. Some of them were just a vague, “what are those,” followed by them testing the chairs out, getting too comfortable and wheeling around in them. The people who recognized them as WWE chairs used them as an opportunity to strike up a conversation about their fandom, and how they maybe watched as a kid, and how they totally remember the Ultimate Warrior. Then the John Cena meme talk starts. The hardcore fans are like, “that Sasha Banks chair started its life as a Goldust chair, right? It looks exactly like him.”
My favorite part of them is that they actually look nice. It’s hard to find a WWE ANYTHING that actually looks nice. It’s mostly black shirts with giant letters on the back that say something asinine and ruin the cool design on the front. Instead of going that route, the Clutch Chairz WWE line keeps it classy, with simple colors, straight-up official logos, and a WWE logo on the back. The Warrior chair (and the Austin, Rock and Macho Man chairs) have the WWE Legends logo instead. Even with the color schemes and logos, they don’t look cheap, or like something that belongs in a kid’s room. Although your kid would be pretty sweet if he had an A.J. Styles gaming chair that could literally hold a ton.
That’s when the question became, “how do I get one of these?” I have the Sasha chair in my apartment now — possibly because of the Goldust color scheme — and I find myself not wanting to sit in anything else. My old desk chair feels like I’m sitting on a pile of Legos now.
If you do happen to want to buy a chair, or at least browse them and check out the designs and features, you can do that through this link. They’re not cheap, but they’re worth it. Luckily, Clutch Chairz has just launched a back-to-school sale, so there really isn’t a better time to pick one up than right now. Consider it an investment in your pro wrestling fandom, and also in having an operable spine.
And hey, if you’ve got to watch three hours of Raw, why not be comfortable while you do it?