We’re traveling down the Road to WrestleMania currently, which also means we’re approaching the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony. Though most of the class of 2017 has been announced, WWE has yet to reveal who will be joining their very prestigious imaginary Celebrity Wing.
Sure, the Hall of Fame isn’t a real brick and mortar building, and the award itself is a completely arbitrary determination that isn’t necessarily indicative of actual talent or contribution, but hey, if they can pretend, we can pretend. As such, here are ten celebrities who we think deserve to be in the Hall of Fame sooner, rather than later.
Is everyone still mad at David Arquette, or can we give up the ghost already and put the former WCW World Heavyweight Champion in the Hall of Fame? I mean, sure, it’s considered to be on of the lowest points in modern day wrestling, and yes, using his championship to promote 3,000 Miles to Graceland was real a thing that happened, but hey, people are still talking about it. WWE loves to rewrite WCW history, so why should this be exempt?
The star of the Naked Gun series may seem like a left-field choice, but I assure you I’m not just putting him on the list because he’s Canadian and a great contributor to my own sense of humour, or because his turn on The Littlest Hobo goes sorely unrecognized. I mean, yeah, that’s part of it, I’m not gonna lie. The rest of the reasoning lies in Nielsen’s appearance in WWE where he was enlisted to help solve the mystery of The Undertaker. Sure, WWE isn’t big on posthumous celebrity inductions, but it’s no mystery as to why they should undertake this induction. Eh? Ehhhhhh?
Speaking of Canadians, since Robert Goulet is probably never going in, how about Pam? Pamela Anderson spurred Shawn Michaels to victory at the 1995 Royal Rumble by offering to accompany the winner at WrestleMania. Though she actually ended up with Diesel (who also stole Michaels’ valet, Jenny McCarthy), a Hall of Fame induction is still a nice token of appreciation for someone at the center of a “Diesel f*cks” storyline. And, as a former Baywatch babe, it’s great synergy for promoting The Rock’s next appearance to shill his own Baywatch flick.
Floyd Mayweather has a long history of domestic violence, but one brief glance at other inductees into both the celebrity and non-celebrity wing of the Hall of Fame proves that’s never really been an issue for decision makers in WWE. In both 2012 (Mike Tyson) and 2013 (Donald Trump), WWE proved that prior sexual assault convictions, and allegations of the same nature (respectively) mean absolutely nothing with their celebrity inductees.
If we follow that line of thinking, Floyd Mayweather seems like the most obvious inductee missing from the Celebrity Wing of the Hall of Fame. His program with Big Show, culminating in a match between the two at WrestleMania XXIV, is easily one of the better things WWE has done with the big man.
From performing “The Game” live at WrestleMania (even though Lemmy didn’t even like the song), to being real-life friends with über-fanboy Triple H, Lemmy Kilmister and Motorhead have an extensive history with WWE. While again, WWE isn’t fond of inducting celebrities that can’t actively promote their induction, we seriously doubt it’s going to take very long for Papa H to honour his favourite singer.
The legendary talk show host not only served as an interviewer and commentator during WrestleMania VII, but was pivotal in extending kayfabe beyond the ring. He and Kathie Lee played host to multiple WWE Superstars on their daytime talk show, never shying away from interacting with people like The Undertaker and Paul Bearer in character. Bonus points if WWE manages to get With Spandex’s favourite wine-soaked duo of Hoda and Kathie Lee to induct him.
Much like the aforementioned pocket-sized talk show host, Jerry Springer has made multiple appearances on WWE television programming, including hosting his own show, WWE Too Hot for TV. His work with WWE wasn’t always highlighted by the salacious and at times violent nature his show got the reputation for, as seen in the clip above wherein Razor Ramon was really cool to a pair of children fighting AIDS.
While the idea of a former mayor trying to reconcile the Bella twins is great enough on its own, it would be nice to see Springer get on stage and not have someone start throwing chairs. Well … unless he wants that. I’m sure there are always a few steel chairs hanging around WWE events.
That Cyndi Lauper isn’t already in the Hall of Fame is a travesty. Being one of the first to truly help pro wrestling cross over into mainstream pop culture, her vast contributions to WWE are innumerable. She participated in the very first WrestleMania, made multiple appearances managing Wendi Richter on WWE’s television programming, was featured in the classic animated series Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling, and made scads of people ask — to this very day — “Is Captain Lou Albano Cyndi Lauper’s father?” Bringing pro wrestling to the MTV Generation was critical to the ongoing success of WWE in the 80s, and she definitely deserves more than a gold record to smash over Heath Slater’s head (though whatever, that was pretty great).
You can’t talk about bringing pro wrestling into pop culture without acknowledging the immense contributions of Andy Kaufman. His commitment to kayfabe lasted literally his whole life, with his famous interview with David Letterman alongside Jerry Lawler only being revealed as a work thirteen years later. Easily one of the greatest (if not the greatest) heels of all time, his promos on the wrestling fans of the American south transcend wrestling and help elevate the thing we all love into an artform. Pro wrestling as we know it would never have existed without Kaufman’s contributions, so yeah, I’d say he’s pretty deserving.
Because f*ck it, some of us just want to watch the world burn.