The Best And Worst Of WWE NXT 4/25/18: Every Open Eye

Previously on the Best and Worst of WWE NXT: Johnny Gargano came back — and then stepped all over his wife’s main event. Poor form, dude!

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And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for April 25, 2018. Come in misery, where you can seem as old as your omens.

Best: Make Them Gold

We’re nearly three weeks removed from TakeOver: New Orleans, and finally, we get to hear from Roderick Strong as to why he betrayed Pete Dunne and joined up with the Undisputed Era. His response? He had an “epiphany” that it was only a matter of time until Dunne betrayed him, so why not get a head start and take over NXT alongside Adam Cole, Bobby Fish and Kyle O’Reilly?

Okay, fair enough. But it still irks me that Adam Cole is acting like this was the plan all along — and furthermore, that Roddy is going along with it, undercutting his own Ruthless Aggression™. I mentioned it in the Best and Worst of TakeOver, but I totally think this could lead to a Nation Of Domination-esque power struggle down the line (though comparing Roddy to the Rock feels sacrilegious).

Cole’s North American Championship defense against Oney Lorcan was fun, and I loved O’Reilly and Strong bringing a trainer out to look at the wounded champ, throwing up the X and everything, to allow Strong to interfere and give Cole the match. (Bonus points for Strong running over post-interference and yelling, “He’s okay, he’s okay!” before rolling Cole back into the ring.)

We get our post-match beatdown from the millennial world order before a wild Jason Statham Danny Burch appears and also gets beaten down. All we were missing was a can of spraypaint. Guess Strong and O’Reilly have their first challengers for the tag straps.

Best: Love Is Dead

Before we get to the death of true love, let’s first discuss once again how Heavy Machinery is an eternal Best. My wonderful beef boys come out in new ring gear, complete with multiple nicknames on Tucker Knight’s outfit. Should we call him Tucky, like his vest says, or Big Tuck, like his headband says? Talk about a real Dozer’s Choice.

The match is designed to get us to the teased Platinum Lovers breakup, which happens in predictable fashion: Riddick Moss gets sent into Tino Sabbatelli on accident, so Tino retaliates by offering up a tag then bailing at the last second. (Also, a big ol’ Worst goes out to Percy Watson, who sells this moment like he’s a four-year-old who’s watching wrestling for the first time, yelling, “Tino just abandoned Riddick Moss, but he stuck his arm out like he was gonna reach for the tag! That’s unbelievable!” Dude’s out here making Byron Saxton look like Paul Heyman.

So, yeah: RIP Platinum Lovers, 2017-2018. Given that Tino is the only one in this team with any actual heat (and any actual wrestling ability), this seems destined for a quick blowoff match between the ex-lovers with Tino getting a singles push and Riddick getting metaphorically thrown in a crate stamped “OVW.”

(Also, an absolutely enormous supplemental Best for Heavy Machinery doing the goddamn Spartan pose while standing on top of Tino and Riddick, and another supplemental Best for the most roundabout way of getting a “steaks and weights” chant ever by telling War Raiders that “we’re gonna raid all the buffets and take all the steaks, and raid all the gyms and lift all the weights.” We’re not worthy.)

Best: By The Throat

First, a Worst: This is the second week in a row where Shayna Ba(e)szler has done dynamite character work, only for WWE’s social media team not to upload video proof of it anywhere. Forget flat-Earthers: This is the real conspiracy worth talking about. #FREESHAYNASPROMOS

However, a Best goes to nearly the entire women’s division confidently calling out Baszler via video package (including Kairi Sane doing her best anime giggle while saying, “I know her weakness … it’s a secret“) juxtaposed with the sheer terror in Dakota Kai’s face when she’s being interviewed by Cathy Kelley about the champ, even before the champ shows up. With her heavy eye makeup, swoopy hair, black hoodie and sullen look, Dakota Kai looks like a Hot Topic employee the day after My Chemical Romance broke up when everyone wanted to talk to her about it but all she wanted to do was go in the back room and have a good cry.

Once Baszler arrives on the scene, I was half-convinced she was going to choke out Dakota and Cathy and probably the camera person too, so thankfully she kept her rage contained for the time being. But man, I would not want to be in Dakota Kai’s kickpads right now. I’ve seen Final Destination. Death is coming for you no matter what you do, girl.

Best: My Enemy

Freshly reinstated and overly confident, Johnny Gargano comes out for his NXT Championship title shot and of course, he gets jumped by F*ckface Ciampa. Like, Ray Charles saw that coming, dude — and he’s blind and dead.

So Ciampa and Gargles beat the tar out of one another for a few minutes before F*ckface — who’s wearing a Johnny Wrestling tee and looking like a T-800 who’s taken some battle damage to his eye socket but is still plenty homicidal — gets the upper hand and reenacts the end of TakeOver: Chicago, slamming J-Gargz into the video screen and dropping him off the stage through a pair of tables.

Gargano gets the full stretcher treatment, complete with crying Candice LeRae, and as he gets wheeled into a waiting ambulance, the camera pans up to F*ckface on top of a goddamn semi trailer waving goodbye. That’s some Bane breaking Batman’s back-type sh*t right there. Sinister.

Best: Clearest Blue

As Gargano gets put in the ambulance, Aleister Black walks by and looks surprised at what’s going on. Like, dude, shouldn’t you already be in gorilla at this point? Ostensibly, aren’t you super-late for your match? Or do you normally wait until your music hits to venture over from the Upside Down but you got sick of waiting this time? So many questions for our death-monk champion!

Anyway, Black puts two and two together and immediately comes to the ring to call out Ciampa, but gets interrupted by SAnitY, sans Nikki Cross (so the audience is sans interest). Eric Young rambles on about chaos and whatnot, and Ali, like a total badass, cuts him off, hoists up his title and says “Are you looking for this? Then let’s do this.” The only thing better would have been had Black yelled, “RING THE GODDAMN BELL” to Drake Younger or whoever.

So SAnitY gets to work heel for their final NXT appearance before being called up to Team Blue, and they turn in a relatively straightforward house show match where the champion has to watch his back and prevent interference from cronies on the outside. Everyone played their roles perfectly, and the Black Mass Outta Nowhere™ is still such a devastating exclamation point as a finisher, especially when he hits it in such quick succession on all three Smackdown call-ups. Have fun in your trios feud with the New Day, guys! I look forward to making gender-neutral heart eyes at my NXT champion every week.

Next Week: Pete Dunne has a receipt for Roddy Strong, Candice LeRae squares off against Bianca Belair, plus TM61 goes up against Street Profits.