Previously on the Best and Worst of NXT: Matt Riddle did a socially dominant photo shoot, Undisputed Era started breaking up, and The Viking Raiders became the “War Raiders” again for a week because that’s what happens when you have them walk out in front of a big screen reading WAR RAIDERS five days before they’re called up.
If you missed this episode, you can watch it here.
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And now, the Best and Worst of WWE NXT for May 1, 2019.
Worst: The Worst Triple Team You’ve Ever Seen
Opening this week’s episode is a six-man tag team match pitting The Forgotten Sons, aka Aces and Ain’ts, against the team of Oney, Two-ey, and Humberto Ca-three-o.
I’m actually getting tired trying to come up with new things to say about the Forgotten Sons. I think at best they’re going to be like Elias, who always seemed awkward and bad in NXT and then got whisked up to the main roster and immediately fit in and blossomed. It’s a gimmick made for non-fans to see flipping through channels on a Monday night, stop for a second, and immediately understand. Guitar player guy who always gets interrupted. Tough angry biker gang who don’t ever ride motorcycles. Check, check.
Jaxson Ryker is now 0-3 for me trying to have good matches against Oney Lorcan and Danny Burch, which doesn’t seem physically possible. Here’s The Third Ryk finishing off their opponents with their big finishing combination: an inverted DDT where Ryker doesn’t actually fall down at all and just kinda lets go of them, paired with two extremely weak stomps to the stomach.
Seriously, look at Wesley Blake’s foot there. He jumps off the ropes late, touches his foot to Burch’s stomach as gently and quickly as possible, immediately slides it off so he doesn’t land on one leg and Sid Vicious himself, then mounts him for the 69 (?). Nothing makes falling about a foot to the ground hurt more than someone touching your tummy with their foot!
Ryker not remembering how the second half of a Scorpion Death Drop works is just icing on the cake. Someone needs to make the executive decision to either wish the Forgotten Sons the best in their future endeavors, or worse, send them up to the main roster to be a tag team WWE doesn’t remember they have.
Best: Oui Oui, Mansoor
Dominik Dijakovic continues his quest to “purify” North America of all its non-white jobbers (?) by throwing around Mansoor, who appears to have lost his last name in that same “whoops, this doesn’t sound American” offensive that removed Mustafa from Ali.
This one actually shocked me, and might’ve been my favorite match on the episode. DIjakovic starting the match like he’s going to do another pre-Crisis Baron Corbin squash only to be fully challenged and tested by Mansoor was great. It did a lot to make Mansoor look like a legitimate part of the company, and not like one of those Sean Maluta types who get brought out when they need a squash and don’t have any local talent handy. I especially liked his shining enzuigiri, even though it’s not something you should actually be able to do somebody. Think of it like the Japanese arm drag of people getting kicked in the head. It’s pro wrestling, it’s fine.
avoid this strike by not just kneeling there waiting to get kicked
Dijakovicenstein eventually Feasts His Eyes™ and wins, setting up … uh, one of the most unfortunate segments of the year. Sorry, everyone.
Worst: Second-Hand Embarrassments Across America
I think by now you guys know what a homer I am for the Velveteen Dream. He’s on my short list of NXT favorites, along with Shayna Baszler and Montez Ford. He could do almost anything and I’d love it, because his character provides for itself a rich context and deep love of pro wrestling absurdity. He can, say, show up dressed like Hollywood Hogan for a match in Hollywood or wear some Prince Puma pants to fight Ricochet and we swoon about it. It would also be dishonest of me to watch a segment like this and say it was good. Holy shit, if they’d done this to him on the main roster we’d have spent the next five years using it as an example of why they don’t understand his character and are trying to sabotage him.
In case you missed it, Dream shows up and (badly) sings a parody version of ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ because he’s the North American Champion and he’s … wrestling an immigrant? That part’s not really important, I guess. What’s important is that the lyrics aren’t good or funny, “Buddy Murphy’s red hair” is the only part that sounds like it was written with any creativity, and Dream (1) can’t sing and (2) doesn’t and/or can’t sing to the music. Brutal. He should’ve brought out the Old Day, Sonny Boy, and the extras from ‘Bayley This Is Your Life’ to sing backup.
NXT can fail sometimes, and this was definitely that. The good news is that I’m confident they can move forward and do better shit next week and beyond, because they haven’t yet conditioned me to think one bad segment means Ragnarok for a character I like.
Best: KUSHIDA
New NXT signee KUSHIDA defeats local talent in the main event.
A few positives. Firstly, I’m glad we’re past the era where established stars from Japan got to show up in NXT with their names on the video screen just to hit a pose and be like NOW I AM TO BE CALLED “OKOYE” or whatever. KUSHIDA shows up as full-on KUSHIDA, with his name and his goofy Back to the Future Part II aesthetic and his Hoverboard Lock, still called the “Hoverboard Lock.” Secondly, I really want KUSHIDA to challenge for the United Kingdom Championship so Mauro can scream, “HOVERBOARDS DON’T WORK ON WALTER … UNLESS YOU’VE GOT POWER!”
Thirdly, I liked that they brought in KUSHIDA against a larger opponent so he immediately feels like a wrestler, instead of like a sideshow attraction. Far too often wrestling promotions bring in a special performer and have him beat up jobbers all the time or squash previous “special performers” who didn’t really succeed like they’d have liked, and the new guy seems almost detached from the rest of the roster. By having KUSHIDA show up, take a bunch of damage, and show that he’s skilled and determined enough to take bigger opponents head and and defeat them makes him not only look like a legit new star, but makes us as an audience (whether we’re familiar with his work or not) want to see him wrestle more. He didn’t just do five or six cool moves and say, “okay, that’s what I do, hope you like it.”
KUSHIDA vs. Albert Hardie Jr. at TakeOver, please. Or at least on the TakeOver Next Episode pre-show.
Also On This Episode
- Queen Cathy tries to get some honest answers about Io Shirai from Shayna Baszler and gets the mic knocked out of her hand, causing her to have one of those WWE announcer existential crises where they’ve failed their mission objective and have to wait for someone to come by and reboot them
- The Undisputed Era are still breaking up, as Adam Cole makes a “joke” about Roderick Strong dropping the ball last week and sends him storming off in a huff. Don’t worry, Adam, I’m sure Ring of Honor has like 15 other tiny white guys who strike hard and kick out of everything
- Mia Yim and Bianca Belair have an argument at the Performance Center which is instantly overshadowed by both Robbie Brookside’s confused coach shouting and Stokely Hathaway trying to film it for Worldstar
Next Week
WORLDSTAR!
Bianca Belair takes on Mia Yim, Adam Cole faces Matt Riddle in an Inside Out-style battle between Joy and Anger, and Velveteen Dream rewrites the preamble to the Constitution to be about how his opponent sucks. We’re ensuring domestic tranquility and providing for the common defense, next week on NXT!
